Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success.
Herman Cain
Happiness is something everyone wants to achieve. While on the surface people may seem to be looking for money, recognition, or other things, what they actually seek is happiness. Unfortunately, many people never reach the level of happiness they desire.
While I can’t claim to be the happiest person in the world (I wish I could :) ), I do learn something about it. So here I’d like to share 20 ways to find happiness in your life.
But, before we start, we should agree on something: our happiness is our responsibility. Your happiness is your responsibility. Don’t blame outside condition or other people if you’re not happy. While things around you could change and go bad, it is you who decide how you will respond to them. You can decide to be happy.
With that in mind, here are 20 ways to find happiness in life:
1. Stop comparing yourself with others
Comparing yourself with others won’t do you any good. You will either feel proud when you are above, or feel jealous and frustrated when you are below. None of them brings true happiness. So stop comparing yourself with others and simply be your best.
2. Count your blessings
There are so many things we should be grateful for, but we often forget them. When you realize how blessed you are, you will certainly be happier.
We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.
Frederick Keonig
You can start with some simple things we take for granted.
3. Find your inner voice
To find true happiness, you must first find your inner voice. Slow down and take some quiet time for soul searching. What will make your life meaningful? What is true happiness for you? By knowing what your heart says, it will be easier for you to align with it.
4. Reconnect with your childhood dreams
Your childhood dreams can give you clues about your true calling. So discover them and reconnect with them. Get them back into your life. Childhood dreams are important, which is why Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture is entitled Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams.
5. Help someone
Giving is an essential key to happiness. While we often think that we will be happier when we receive, the truth is we are happier when we give. This is also one of the most difficult things to apply.
You can apply this by finding someone in need and lending a helping hand. The person could be your family, friend, or even a stranger. You could also donate to a charity.
Happiness is like a kiss…you must share it to enjoy it.
Unknown
6. Spend more quality time with your loved ones
Relationships give us happiness more than any material in the world. So spend more quality time with your loved ones. In such moments, be sure that you devote your attention to them. Divided attention (with your work, for example) will decrease the quality of the time.
There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.
George Sand
7. Apply the five languages of love
Love is an important way to happiness, and the five languages of love is a helpful concept to help you apply love. By understanding yours and others’ languages of love, you will be able to build better relationships.
8. Appreciate nature
The beauty of the nature can give you peace. Go out and see how beautiful the nature is. Watch how the birds sing and the sun shines, and let you be happy once again.
9. Pray or meditate
This is one of the most effective ways to calm your mind and get inner happiness. When you feel overwhelmed, a session of praying or meditation could help you clear your mind.
10. Know yourself
You will be happier if you understand who you are. Taking personality tests or drawing a simple life map could help you recognize who you are.
11. Say thank you
Sometimes we are so accustomed to people around us that we forget to thank to them. So take a little time to do that.
12. Smile
Smiling is a very simple thing to do, and yet it has great effect. There mere act of smiling can brighten your otherwise dark day.
13. Listen more than you speak
You will feel happier not only by understanding yourself, but also by understanding the people around you. One simple way to do that is by listening more than you speak. Try to understand what the other person means before speaking out your thoughts.
14. Stop judging others
Judging others will give you bad feeling toward them and there’s nothing good about that. Instead, you should look at the positive side of them. Sometimes it’s easier to see the others’ weaknesses, but looking at the positive side will brighten their day and your day.
15. Focus on what you can control
Trying to change things beyond your control will only frustrate you. Recognize what you can and can’t control, and focus solely on the things you can control. For instance, you can’t change how people around you behave, but you can change yours. So focus on changing your own behavior instead of changing theirs.
There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.
Epictetus
16. Forgive yourself
Have you done mistakes in the past? We could be intimidated by our past mistakes that we can no longer live to our full potential. But you aren’t perfect, and neither is anyone else. So forgive yourself and release the burden.
17. Forgive others
Besides forgiving yourself, you should also forgive other people who did wrong to you. Not forgiving them will only hurt you. Again, you should release the burden so that you can find happiness.
To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.
Robert Muller
18. Accept yourself
You may have some personality traits that you don’t like. For instance, perhaps you are an introvert and you wish you are an extrovert. Or you wish you were born in a different background. This is one thing you can’t control (see #15), so just accept yourself as you are. You are unique, and that’s something you should be grateful for.
19. Know how to deal with problems
Problems will always come your way, so your happiness depends not on whether or not you have problem, but on how good you deal with them. Knowing how to stay calm and how to overcome failure will be helpful.
20. Be a promise keeper
You will find happiness if you stay true to your heart and one way to do that is by being a promise keeper. The more you keep your promise, the more you will be aligned with your conscience and the happier you will be.
***
While I’m still far from perfect in applying them, I can attest how these ideas increase my happiness.
Do you have other ideas to achieve happiness? Feel free to share them in the comments.
If you liked this post, please share it on StumbleUpon or del.icio.us. I’d appreciate it.
Photo by Sukanto Debnath
Comment by Avani
#1 20. March 2008, 1:36 am o'clock |
* Accepting self, people the way they are and the way they are not.
* Being in present.
Comment by Mary Jaksch I GoodlifeZen
#2 20. March 2008, 3:16 pm o'clock |
Very nice concise post! I have been writing a series on ‘Secrets of Wellbeing’ at GoodlifeZen which looks at the various facets of happiness.
I think there are some aspects of happiness that are worth thinking about. One is that it is a subjective experience. That is, two people might have the same life circumstances but rate them differently, ending up either unhappy or happy. So one thing that helps people to be happier is to change the way they view their life. Here is an example: I was just listening to a tape made by a young woman who recently died by MS at age 37. She recorded the tape some years earlier when she could still speak. At the time she was in hospital after an MS ‘attack’. She said, “This may sound strange, but I feel happier than ever before.” A few weeks ago I spoke to her parents who loved her deeply and accompanied her right through her illness. The father said to me: “My daughter and all of us family member would agree that her illness was the best thing that could have happened to us!” I reckon that for many families this suffering would have been rated as a life circumstance that made them deeply unhappy.
Another aspect I’ve been exploring and writing about is the strange fact that we are really really bad at predicting what will make us happier in the future. I’ve written an article about this in my ‘Series of Wellbeing Series’ on goodlifezen.com (I only mention this so that we can maybe start a wider discussion about happiness).
cheers
Mary
PS I have subscribed to this really interesting site!
Comment by ETAVITOM
#3 20. March 2008, 3:50 pm o'clock |
GREAT!!!! Thank you very much.
Comment by Leanne Watson | Your Successful Mind
#4 20. March 2008, 11:10 pm o'clock |
I agree Mary. It’s amazing how often two people have the similar things happen and yet one person is happy and the other sad or angry.
Michael J Fox is another Prime Example of this. In his book ‘I’m a Lucky Man’, that’s how he thinks about himself even with such a debilitating illness as Parkinson’s Disease. In fact he actually states that PD is one of the best things that’s happened to him.
Personally I’ve found that has I’ve got older I’ve really acknowledged and put into practise that I have choice about how I respond to situations. It’s not about anyone else and how they may or may not view things or what they may or may not have done.
Plain and simple, my happiness is my choice!
Comment by Mr Positioning (Stanley Bronstein)
#5 21. March 2008, 1:11 pm o'clock |
The best advice in this article is to stop comparing yourself to others.
Be unique. Be who you are. That is the best way to be happy.
Personally, I pride myself on being unique. I found that to be a common trait among successful people i met while touring the country to interview more than 80 highly successful individuals in conjunction with my soon to be released third book.
Take care
Mr Positioning (Stanley F. Bronstein, Atty, CPA, Author and Professional Speaker)
Comment by Donald Latumahina
#6 23. March 2008, 11:20 am o'clock |
Thanks for stopping by everyone! I went out of town in recent days which is why I can only reply to your comments now.
Avani,
Nice tips!
Mary,
I agree that happiness is a subjective experience, and you gave us a very clear example. If we have the mindset of seeing the positive side of things, we will definitely be happier.
Brad,
You’re welcome!
Leanne,
It’s indeed interesting that people can respond differently to similar situations. Yours is a good way to put it: our happiness is our choice.
Stanley,
Yes, we are all unique. That’s a gift and we will be happy if we appreciate it.
Comment by Craig Harper
#7 24. March 2008, 9:01 pm o'clock |
Hey Donald. Great tips!
I’m a big believer in listening instead of speaking. When you listen intently to people you learn more, you engage the other person a lot more, and you become a much better communicator. All of which make you happier!
Craig
Comment by Donald Latumahina
#8 25. March 2008, 7:07 am o'clock |
Thanks, Craig! It’s wonderful to learn about the importance of listening from a top motivational speaker like you. It makes me realize how important listening is if I want to become a better communicator.
Comment by amani
#9 14. May 2008, 11:18 am o'clock |
I think that you can not be happy in your relationships if you are not happy in your own.
Comment by Donald Latumahina
#10 15. May 2008, 3:46 am o'clock |
Amani,
I agree. If we aren’t happy, it will affect other things in our life including our relationships.
Comment by NoGoD
#11 26. June 2008, 1:04 pm o'clock |
This is some great info. Maybe you could help out at
http://whyarewehere.org/forum
~Be Happy
Comment by code name: so sad
#12 17. March 2009, 3:12 pm o'clock |
I really like the information that the website gives.
It helps me find the inner me… its not really workin now but as i try to follow the tips i can find happiness in my life
Comment by Ranen Hesham
#13 29. June 2009, 2:03 pm o'clock |
WoOoOoOoW i loved this topic so much
Comment by Sara Morgan
#14 29. October 2009, 10:58 am o'clock |
I completley agree with Mary’s comments about how happiness is all in how you see it. But, that is not so easy to do. 10 years ago, I took a good look at myself and realized I was desperatley unhappy. I was a pessimist, cynical, work-a-holic, who saw everything as a problem, yet I had little to really complain about.
I began at that point a personal journey that involved many big changes in my life (like getting a divorce, leaving my high paying corporate job and moving to the country). Even though the big changes helped, it was the little changes that made the biggest difference (like changing my own attitude about things). I now have plenty to complain about and many bad things have happened to me, but I am actually the happiest I have ever been. I know, it blows my mind too, but I sure ain’t going back to that other way of life.
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