I recently found an interesting article about loneliness crisis. Loneliness, as it turns out, is a serious problem these days. The world is becoming more and more connected, but many people feel lonely in the midst of it. In fact, you can feel lonely even if you interact with many people. You can feel lonely without being alone.
You might not feel lonely right now, but there might be times when you do. So we all need to know how to deal with loneliness.
Here are some tips on dealing with loneliness:
1. Be positive about yourself.
Negative self-talk can kill you. If you constantly think of yourself as ugly, mean, or unattractive, then it will be difficult for you to connect with others. You must accept yourself before you can accept others.
Yes, you might have some negative qualities. But you know what? So does everyone else. So focus instead on your positive side. Think of yourself in a positive way.
If you find it difficult to get rid of a negative thought, then use the power of “but.” For example, you might say to yourself: “I might not be the most beautiful person in the world, but I have a generous heart.”
2. Have an attitude of gratitude.
Count your blessings and be grateful for them. It’s easy to focus on the negatives in life, but don’t forget that there are also many positives. Remember them and be thankful.
What does this have to do with loneliness? Well, if you are grateful, then you will become cheerful. And that will attract people to you. Just think about it: do you prefer to be around a grumbling person or a cheerful one?
3. See the positive side of others.
Just as you should see the positive side of yourself, you should also see the positive side of others. Everyone has defects, but everyone also has a positive side. So choose to focus on the positive. That will make you like them and make it easier for you to connect with them.
4. Do something for others.
The more you think about yourself, the more likely it is for you to have a pity party and feel lonely. For example, you might think that nobody likes you or cares about you. So it’s important that you shift your attention away from yourself.
You can do that by doing something for someone else. It can be as simple as smiling at your neighbors or colleagues. Or, if you believe in prayer (as I do), you can pray for them. Mention their names and pray for their needs. It’s simple, but it can do wonders for both yourself and others.
5. Join a community.
It’s important that you become a part of a community where people care about each other. It’s not enough to have an online community; you must also have a real-world one. It can be a hobby-related community, a social organization, or whatever else that fits you. In my case, my primary community is my church.
If you have a friend who is already part of the community, ask them to introduce you. If you don’t, then it will take some courage on your part, but go there and introduce yourself. Have a positive view of yourself and others, and you will succeed.
6. Always take initiative.
When you come to a social meeting, don’t wait for others to give attention to you. Instead, take the initiative and give attention to them. Say hi and ask how they are doing. Be genuinely interested in their lives. It’s like spreading seeds of kindness toward others. You will then reap the harvest.
If You Don’t Feel Lonely…
You might read this and think: “I don’t feel lonely. So this article doesn’t apply to me.”
Well, that’s good! Then you have a task to do: Be a friend to those who need one. Give attention to them. Get them away from loneliness. What you do might seem simple to you, but you never know what impact it can have on another person.
Who knows? You might have brightened someone else’s life.
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What I realized about the days when I felt lonely was that I was comparing myself to others. Read your friends’ Facebook and it looks like everyone’s on an adventure all the time.
You forget that people are only putting their highlights up in public but they have downtime too, just like you. Steve Furtick said it best when he told us that we often compare other people’s highlight reel to our behind-the-scenes.
Good insight, Vincent. I agree that’s a big reason why people feel lonely.
Good point Vincent.
Problem is that everyone is feeling this way. I have started to significantly reduce the amount of minutes (!!) I spend on Facebook each day. I noticed it had become a bad habit to slide my forefinger to the “F” each time I opened a browser. You are bombarded with the impression that all your friends are living the best life with no concerns. Reality is different!
It is easier to start focusing on yourself if you stop comparing yourself to others. One effective way of doing this, is to cut down on the social media junk! I’m publishing an infograph about “How to Implement Healthy Habits” in 2 weeks time.
If you are interested I can send it over? Alternatively you can find it on my blog whenever it becomes available: http://www.andershasselstrom.com
Have a great day,
Yes, social media could be useful, but it could also affect us negatively. We must handle it wisely.
Good luck for the infograph, Anders!
nice awesome post! everything is on point! really helpful my friend i will surely follow your advice every time i feel loneliness.
Some great suggestions on the topic of loneliness. A simple solutions that I’ve suggested to a few people and I’ve tested out myself in the rare times that I’ve felt lonely is to go to the gym. Gyms are always full of people and they are generally in a good mood. Plus, when you are active physically you concentrate less on the mental part. Being surrounded by a bunch of positive people, even strangers can help dramatically when you are lonely.
That makes a lot of sense. Thanks for sharing, Kosio!
Having a pet or listening to music also helps. Pamper yourself with a massage or pedicure. Some of us are so busy interacting with others we forget about us. When we are left with that void it is very lonely.
I remember feeling lonely in London about twenty years ago. It only lasted about two hours but that feeling will always stay within me, it was horrid.
Those are some great points for overcoming loneliness in the long term, Donald. There’s also a short term fix. Phone a friend and ask how their life is going. Loneliness will be banished during the call and for some time after.
That’s a good idea, Ivan. Thanks for sharing!
Very good points on avoiding loneliness. Being lonely is not fun. You think you don’t need anyone and you can have fun on your own but that’s your mind deceiving. Eventually you will found out that, “No man is an Island”
Very good article and very helpful. I will follow them. 🙂 Thank you.
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