“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
Mahatma Gandhi
Have you ever been wronged by someone? In such a case, our nature is not to forgive. We want to take revenge. We want to get even. That’s why Mahatma Gandhi’s quote above is apt. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. The weak can never forgive. If you want to live above the average, then, forgiveness must be one of your attributes.
One possible reason why it’s hard to forgive is because you can’t forgive yourself. You might have made mistakes in the past and blame yourself for it. Since you can’t forgive yourself, it’s hard for you to forgive others.
The first step, then, is to forgive yourself. Realize that nobody is perfect. Realize that everyone makes mistakes. Therefore there is no reason not to give yourself a second chance. Only by giving yourself a second chance can you give others a second chance.
You can then learn to forgive others. An important thing to remember is that forgiveness is a matter of decision, not feeling. You might not feel like it, but you can decide to forgive. Make the decision and let the burden go.
When you forgive others, guess what? You set yourself free. Perhaps you think that by not forgiving others you make their lives miserable. But the fact is, the one who is most miserable is you. Why? Because you can’t have peace in your heart. No matter how much you own, you still can’t live with inner peace. You might think you are okay, but that’s probably because you’ve forgotten how true peace is like.
Trust me, the burden you put on yourself is not worth it. Tap into the power of forgiveness. Living a free and peaceful life is way, way better.
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Donald, an inspirational post. Forgiveness is really powerful as it sets free the forgiven and the forgiver.
Thanks, Peter!
If we do not forgive, we will live in bitterness and resentment. Life will be miserable.
Yes, Mary. That, of course, is not the kind of life we want to live.
Forgiveness is necessary aspect in our life. If we don’t have the ability, we’re left with the mediocre kind of life. And moving on is hard for us. Very nice and inspirational post. I’ve been reading your post for a while and I’m staying for good.
Glad to hear that, Jay 🙂 Thanks!
I think the best form of forgiveness is to simply walk away.
There are some people in this world where no matter what you say or do, your value and niceness never gets recognised because their impression of you will always be negative.
When you walk away, it simply shows that you’re not affected by their impression towards you. In the beginning, they will still frame it in a way where ‘you walked away because you’re jealous or hateful’
But the more people who do it and the more consistent it becomes in their lives, the more it will shale their reality and begin questioning why its happening.
I think it depends on the situation. Sometimes you need to face it and sometimes it’s wiser to just walk away. In any case, we shouldn’t hold a grudge in our heart.
I really like these articles. I have learned about english (I’m english student) and the most important about life. One of the best discoveries in 2014. thanks.
Glad to hear that, Ilaine 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!
I am working in forgive others. However it is really dificult and it takes a lot of willpower. In my opinion to remember a bad thing that anybody did to you, is normal but the bad thing is when you think in it every second
Totally agree Donald. Sometimes we have to learn how to let go. Sometimes I feel it’s partly because of pride that we have a hard time forgiving but I realized also that you can’t hold a grudge on someone for the rest of your life. You just can’t be free carrying the grudge around. I’ve touched on this subject in my blog too on how some people have difficulty forgiving
Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong – what a powerful statement. There’s so much truth in this, and I have to admit, it’s something I sometimes struggle with. I’m getting there though. Sometimes no matter what you say or do, there will always be those that look for conflict with you. At times like these I think its just best to distance yourself from these individuals. You don’t want their negativity eating up your own positive outlook. Thanks for the post Donald.
Forgiveness, it sounds so damn easy,… Roughly 2 years ago While trying to get a kid my now ex girlfriend left with my now ex best friend. They conspired to get rid of me so they could be happy together.. Almost left me with a 80.000 euro debt. To make matters worse they convinced most of my friends i was an asshole so they severed ties as well. Even a friend that i grew up with since i was 2 years old. When alone and lost in thought i still sometimes get these extreme hate surges as id like to call them. They completely destroyed my self confidence, my sleep and ability to calm myself.. I struggle daily to overcome this. When i ask myself why i should forgive them,.. i get nothing…
I do however still have the urge to keep going, though from my point of view life keeps kicking me down. But it is a battle i intend to win. I dont know how yet though..
I used to have trouble with suicidal ideas and after long consideration I asked my best friend for help. She refused to do so because people had told her I made up my depression just to get her attention and start a relationship with her. Later on I send her a message saying it was the end for me, and I intended to commit suicide was it not that I got help from a most unexpected corner. I lived to see another day only to notice that she had showed my letter to all my friends and everyone hated me for faking suicide.
I was studying natural sciences at Cambridge, thought I had friends, had the highests scores on the test-exams ever, was the most happy man in the most fruitfull period of my life and I went down to nothing but a shadow. I stopped my studies and gave up my future. I hated her. I hated the people. I was friendly, wanted to help anyone at anytime, never intended to do wrong and they crushed me. They were selfish hypocrite liars. I fantasised about revenge every night.
As I left Cambridge I did something that was completely against my intuition: I wrote my ex-best friend I was not leaving because of her (which I was actually) and that I was sorry for the pain I gave her and everyone and hoped she could understand. I lied and told her she had not to worry: I would return home and be happy. I wished her a lot of success. I never lied so much in one letter as at that moment.
It was the best thing I had ever done. I felt so free afterwards. Why: because genuinely people could not hate me for doing such a thing. i felt I was a hero. Afterwards I also forgave them and only from that point on I stopped thinking about what happened.
You should forgive your ex and ex best friend. Why? because you deserve to feel better. You deserve to stand above them. Hating your enemies is like trying to kill them by poisoning yourself.
Take a pen, write down everything you thought you ever did wrong to them and appologise for it. Try to contact them and send them a letter saying you thought it was not nice (horrible it was I know, but you’re not writing a letter of hate, you’re appologising and forgiving them) what they did but aknowledge that you made some mistakes (Even though they were puny and small things, just write them down) and tell them you forgive them. Wish them good luck and tell them they will not have to worry about you because you will make it.