Note: This is a guest post from Srinivas Rao of The Skool of Life
Tony Robbins once said there are two things that motivate people to make dramatic changes in their lives: inspiration and desperation. As crazy it might sound, there is actually tremendous power in hitting rock bottom or a low-point in your life. The last year has been one of dramatic positive changes for me because my life more or less fell apart in front of my eyes when I finished graduate school a year ago:
- I literally ran out money and my bank balance was ZERO.
- I had to move back to my parent’s house at the age of 31 (kind of embarrassing)
- I couldn’t find a job for 8 months
I had no choice, but to start making some major changes in my life. I was at a personal low point. The great thing however was there was nowhere to go but up. My blog served as a great personal development tool to make changes in my life and continues to do so today:
- I have a job that I absolutely LOVE
- I’m more financially responsible than I’ve ever been
- I have a great network of contacts/supporters
Let’s look at how you can use the power of hitting rock bottom to your advantage.
How To Take Advantage of Hitting Rock Bottom
- Reframe the Situation: The first thing you will need to do if you have hit rock bottom is reframe the situation. In my commencement speech that I wrote on my blog a while back I talked about the distinctions between being spiritually/emotionally broke and financially broke. The latter actually is much easier to recover from if you can conquer the former. The key is viewing your current situation as an opportunity to take your life to a level far beyond where you are at today. I honestly can say that the 8 failures that have lead to me where I’m at today have been incredibly powerful lessons and I actually am starting to realize that many failures are actually just a part of the path to success.
- Nothing to Lose: The beauty of hitting rock bottom is that you truly have nothing to lose. When you hear stories of homeless people spending their time in libraries and filling their minds with knowledge to eventually become millionaires, it makes you realize that you have tremendous power to change your life if you can just tap into it. The beauty of having nothing to lose is that it gives you the power to be completely detached from outcomes, one of the biggest things that gets in the way of accomplishing goals.
- Big Risks/Big Goals: With absolutely nothing to lose, you are in the in perfect position to take big risks and set big goals. When you are not at rock bottom you can actually get caught in the trap of your comfort zone. When you are at a low point, then you have a tendency to really push the envelope of what’s possible. Many bloggers have been forced into the situation they are in (me included) because of other circumstances. The byproduct is that we now live a life that is far better than what we had originally imagined.
If you are at a low point in your life, I encourage you to give some thought to why this could be a defining moment that completely changes the trajectory of your life. If you’re asking yourself “why am I in this situation, this sucks?”, then you are setting yourself up for failure. You’re going to need to shift your focus and ask yourself the question “How can I use this opportunity to take my life to the next level?”. If you do that you’ll find that dramatic positive change is inevitable.
Srinivas Rao is a personal development blogger/surfer who explores various life lessons inspired by riding waves at his blog, The Skool of Life. He’s also the host/co-founder of BlogcastFM, a podcast to help you take your blog to the next level.
Photo by Niffty
I can really relate to this post. After my brother died 8 years ago, I was devastated. However, from his death, my husband and I took a look at the direction our lives were heading and decided that none of us knows how long we have on this planet, so we were going to make the best of the time we have.
We completely changed our focus and made the decision that we were going to live each day as a special day.
Looking back now, my brother’s illness was the catalyst to the life we have now. Some good has come from something so tragic and sad
I have more or less reached rock bottom, house will be repo in a short while, credit card companies like contacting me 3-4 times a day, no income coming in. The thoughts of people who have suffered a similar pathway does help a bit.
Thanks for the time you people have taken to express your feelings but at 66 years of age starting over again is a worry because my situation effects other people who deserve better.
For me and my partner it cannot get worse and in a waY that is a positive thing strangly.
People are judgers, but lets face it, No man is perfect! This is something you run from, but God is not judging your situation. They say you are in this situation because of this and that. Dont listen! God is just waiting for you to call on him like you used to do when you was a child. He is able and loves you with an unconditional love!! You have walked away from the truth that you know is true. Can I go to him? Definitely! Trust in God for he is able to turn your whole situation around for the good. Watch. When you go to him and cry out. All those others that you call and tell what is happening and you still seem to leave or get off the phone with the same feeling, dont run to them any more. God wants to hear what is going on with you. Even though he already knows. Once he hears this he is going to do something about it. You have known that you were special from a child but you just dont know what. Go back in his face and ask. Also ask for provision to help in your time of need, he will deliver your situation. Trust me!!! Be still and see that he is God… He is waiting!!!!!
@Brenda: hat sounds like a pretty horrible thing go to through. I can’t possibly imagine. But it sounds like something that really allowed you to put life in perspective. Time is perhaps one of our most precious resources and yet we don’t value it as much until we wee it taken away from somebody in the blink of an eye.
Positive thinking is wonderful, but having been sectioned on a psychiatric unit, lost everything financially, having had my professional qualifications taken away (because of the mental health problems and the bankruptcy) and being forced into working a low paid job that I last did 20 years ago, I think I – and all those who have been slapped in the kisser by life – need a little hippo time, just wallowing in out own mud, before we embrace how wonderful the gift of life is
Srinivas, that truly was an inspirational post which I can relate to in many ways. I am currently in a rock bottom position so know exactly what you are talking about. Your point about looking at the rock bottom situation as an opportunity is spot on, and exactly the kit up the ass I needed.
We’d like to believe getting up from rock bottom is a miraculous switch… what rob (above) and Srinivas point out is that you simply have to work hard… I applaud you both for lifting your selves up. People don’t get what they want out of life because they are lazy. Lazy thinking shows up as negative self-talk that has us wallowing in the mud… The result is inaction. No matter what our situation we must first take an honest inventory of our self-talk.
I am glad to hear that you have been able to turn your life around.
What I try to teach (obviously) is to take these steps and make these decisions long before you hit the bottom. If you can decide to go after your dreams whilst everything is going well it is like sailing with the wind in your back, instead of having to fight it every step of the way.
Making a positive change in your life is hard, mostly because it demands that you make a positive change in yourself. Being able to do this requires the acceptance that you are not perfect.
To many I think it will require they hit “rock bottom” to see that they might have to change themselves and their ways, for some even falling on their faces won’t do it.
We aren’t perfect, none of us are and never will be but we can try to become a perfect version of ourselves and that is a goal I think is worth pursuing.
I certainly agree with this article about hitting rock bottom. In my book The Life Champion In You, there’s a tag line on the front cover that reads, ‘One man’s journey from personal tragedy to Karate World Champion and the universal lessons you can learn for your own life’. Note the words ‘personal tragedy’ which was my own rock bottom. There is hope for all.
@rob n: Sometimes we definitely need that time to wallow. WE just have to careful that we don’t spend too long in that place because it can be a downward spiral if we do.
@rob: Laziness and making excuses is something that I see quite frequently from people. I have so many friends I went to business school with who seem intent on excuses for why they cant change their situation. I figure that energy could be put into making life changes.
@Daniel: I think I’m one of those people that had to hit “rock bottom” in order to really appreciate where I could be and what was possible. I try to look at everyday now as an opportunity to make positive changes.,
@Clint: Sounds like a great story. I’ll have to check it out.
I am glad that you have found a way to make that change, even if it took that you “hit rock bottom” to do it, I am sure that it feels worth it?
What a courageous and personal post. Thank you for sharing your story. We often do have to be forced out of our comfort zones or shocked into action before we make any profound or huge leaps in life. Baby steps are easy. Huge leaps require a ton of courage or no other choice! I am a personal and career coach, and I encounter both in my practice. It is exciting to work with people who are ready to make these leaps and want or must do the work to get there.
When you are forced by circumstances (hitting rock bottom) to make changes, it is so important to take care of the emotional fallout while you are making changes. Sometimes we have to act to survive, but when the dust settles, we haven’t dealt with the pain, guilt or anger associated with the change. I hope anyone dealing with rock bottom will seek the help of a counselor or coach to rebuild the whole person. Then, anything is possible!
I agree whole heartedly!! Dealing with the loss off my job, my apartment, my kitty, my wife, and my car, all in thirty days is a lot of damage at 56. FInancially, who cares, but how do I heal after all this? It’s painful every moment of every day. And who can afford a shrink??
I feel for ya ….. I’m losing it all at 44 been going Down hill since 3 years ago
Jim, first forgive me for rambleing here. when I read your blog it hit me like a ton of bricks. When we are at rock bottom we don’t think anyone else can understand or feel what we are feeling. I am 54 at rock bottom right now with similar losses. I (had) to quit a job I really loved. My husband and I are separated I lost my Birman cat of 16 years 3 weeks ago today and I noticed my little dog won’t eat because she has an abscessed tooth. I am being evicted from my apartment. I was so depressed that I just suppressed what I should have been doing I am agoraphobic so,I spent all of my 401K flat broke now. My 26yr old daughter and her 33 year old husband both jobless and 5 yr old gran-daughter have been living with me untill all the money was gone. I kicked my son in law out because he would not keep a job. So, he will not help move my furniture, my 31 year old son will not help and my daughter is caught in the middle and disrespectful to me. I have put on 20 pounds this year. But, I have been doing allot of self examination and am going to give it all I have to change myself and rely on God. I think I am one of those people who had to hit rock bottom in order to see how I got here. Losing a special person or pet just added to the downward spiral I was already heading for. I have to believe that if I am willing and I am, to make changes and work hard,that all of this bad will change to good and saddness will change to joy. I’m just saying I wanted to give up it’s easier to give up, but I won’t learn anything if I do that. God bless you and I hope you won’t give up.
You constantly live with the guilt of some of the choices that you have made. You will get a second chance. DONT MAKE THOSE SAME DECISIONS. When you are blessed with things which you often are and dont even see it, treat those things as gifts. When you get another position if you dont already have one, because you want to stay in the same profession, do your job diligently. Humble yourself and most of what you lost will return to you, but dont be impatient which you tend to be, some things take time, because you damaged alot of things, and people too. BE HUMBLE, BE HUMBLE, BE HUMBLE! You know that what I am saying is true because you used to be on top of your game in the area of career. BE OF A LOWLY SPIRIT. PRAY. HE IS STILL LISTENING….
What type of a coach are you?
That’s so true what you wrote about the need to be removed from outcomes. For some time now I have been struggling with my comfort zone and challenging myself to push through the boundry of what is “safe.” Thanks for the great post 🙂
[…] Sometimes there’s no where to go but up. In The Power of Hitting Rock Bottom, Srinivas Rao shows us that this can be a very powerful, and useful, state to be […]
Nice post Srinivas.
I think the power of hitting rock bottom is that you have, as you said, nothing to lose. Whats the worse that can happen, you’re at rock bottom right?
I think this is why Jack Canfield and Jim Rohn talked about the power of burning your boats in order to achieve great things. When you have no where else to go and no way back you more often than not produce something amazing!
Thanks for the post, Srinivas. It got me thinking, so much so that it became the subject of my own blog
It’s nice to see a systematic analysis of the up sides of hitting rock bottom! More than just being applicable to the times when we feel we can’t get lower alot of the same ideas expressed here need to be in the backs of our minds more frequently throughout our life. We frequently feel driven to excel to the utmost at all points and consequently feel locked into a path because it will bring us achievement. However, many of these concepts can be applied after smaller setbacks or even when things are going great as well.
Learned a lot from this post and your blog. Like I’ve told you on Twitter, I’m very happy to have connected with you.
I like your point about “Nothing to Lose” the most. We often lose that spirit of reckless abandonment as we grow older, more “logical” and gain “prudence” … or in other words, reluctance, hesitation and fear. Those indeed have their places in everyday life, but when it comes to major journeys and dreams in life, they are hindrances. That is quite tragic.
Some bit of reckless abandonment is needed, whether it is all-out and physically starting from “rock bottom” like you, or emotionally and having nothing to fear about the opinions and criticisms of others.
I also see the power of having no other options but to make the most of your situation and to really figure out how to make things work.
Unless you begin to make risks, your life will always have the same ups and downs as the past. To get over those ups and downs you have to step in new territory to have new experiences to become a better person.
Build Your Ideal Life
I think this is a great post on a few levels. Not only does it provide hope for those who have lost everything, it also provides motivation for people who may be in a bit of a rut or just not excelling quite as much as they’d like.
Far too often one can sink into the easy chair of complacency, and while it may feel nice and comfortable, keeping things routine is not always best. It is nice to break up the stagnancy once in awhile.
I agree that hitting rock bottom can be an enlightening experience but i think this concept is more widely relevant. In a different vein, i think that if more companies could grasp this concept we would be able to improve companies more effectively. Coming from a healthcare background one of the things that many hospitals have problems with is getting stuck in a rutt. I think that if more companies could realize “we are at rock bottom and something big has to change” that our healthcare system would improve much quicker than it has.
I alway’s like the saying:
has it’s advantage’
All the Best,
To your Happy Inspiration,
I’ve hit rock bottom as well. Due to my parents high expectations and my AP classes, I had a mental breakdown which led to an extreme form of an anxiety disorder and also severe depression. If it weren’t antidepressants and my art teacher keeping me “stable” (well, more than I was a few months ago), I would have been long gone. It’s really hard to recover when no one understands.
[…] Over the last few days I’ve been stripped of every safety blanket in my life. I got comfortable and my day job became my safety blanket. I assumed it would be there for a while and I could keep working on building my media empire on the side. With the safety blankets gone I’m standing far on the edge of success with adversity as the catalyst, and I fear that I may fall. For the second time in my life I’m confronted with the power of hitting rock bottom. […]
I am currently in rock bottom. I have been struggling for months with two people from my past that I trusted and have betrayed me with dating eah other when one was my ex and another a friend who went with me to the hospital when I had my nervous breakdown. I feel like I am spiraling downwards again, and even though I am in therapy I feel that nothing I am doing helps. I hate my job and it obvious my boss dislikes me, but I am looking for a better one. I feel like I need a push and a big hug, but don’t know where to turn anymore.
Just got kicked out of college for bad grades…i cant find a job I have no money, im out of shape, i smoke, i have no motivation whatsoever and finally my father just called me and told me he never wanted to talk to me again……
“The beauty of hitting rock bottom is that you truly have nothing to lose.”–I love this line. I love what you wrote here because this is exactly what I’m going through. It’s hard to look for an article that I can exactly relate to. Some are depressed for other reasons but being depressed because of being rejected and having no work and feeling useless at this age is just so heavy in the heart. Well of course not as heavy as death and sickness but still it’s very depressing that I’m starting to contemplate about suicide. Thanks for this nice article. I will surely start to follow this blog! good job!
Since finishing college and starting a career, I have had a quite complicated life, and it is mostly surrounding possessions and others in my life. It was not until recently, that I really began to take inventory of the things that have brought me happiness. Surrounded by many possessions, I realize that I have not even really been the one to enjoy the possessions. I, like many people have enough possessions to fill a huge home, yet rarely use most of the things I own. It is just recently that I realize that I have allowed my possessions to dominate my life. Ready to cut the ties that bind and start again, me and my little dog. I am in a much better position than most of the other posters and for that I am humbly grateful. I pray the situation gets better for the rest as well as for myself. It weighs heavy on my heart that there are people considering suicide due to financial matters. Please remember the time when you were just starting out. You had what ever possessions you were given by your family or friends. It’s a process to acquire all the things that clutter the home. I can help remember that I didn’t worry about people taking what they wanted because I didn’t have anything anyone wanted. Oh to have that luxury again. It’s intriguing to see what others are made of. Even if it’s not comfortable, it’s always best to know what kind of people we associate with. I would rather know they’d kick me to the curb when the issue is merely that I am broke. To me, there are worse circumstances to learn the worst about the character of people that you trust.
I believe its all a matter of energy. When we hit rock bottom, we are at our lowest in energy:- physical, mental, spiritual. But the spiritual is like the ember that is covered in a thin layer of ash. It is just waiting to be stoked. We stoke it by positive thought, by our will to not let us dominated by anything low, by our belief in the Omnipresent that It is with us as we are with It, by love for our dear ones, for mankind, for the non speaking living things and so on. And so, our energy grows incrementally. The more you focus, the more you are able to do. The more you are able to do, the more you believe in you and It. So keep doing GOOD, however small it may be. Regards to all, Balaji , Chennai.
Having gone through something similar in the last 7 odd months, I have recently re-surfaced, taken a grip of my life and one could say feel blessed to have gotten a chance to rebuild my life – and all the more reasons for me to do it right this time!
I totally agree when you say that you have nothing to lose when you hit rock bottom, yes because you have lost everything you had and all your plans are invalid.
After months of depression and yet a survivor, you soon realize that you are born to do something bigger in life and perhaps not take the conventional route!
I am absolutely at rock bottom. My girlfriend left me because I was ‘no nice and considerate’, then couldn’t let me go by spending at least 2 nights a week with me for 4 months after the ‘breakup’ (stupid me for allowing that I know). I then completed my tail spin into dispare by letting the lingering relationship confusion and heartache impact my working life, which led me to being fired 4 weeks ago. To top it off, my dad, who is my hero, was diagnosed with prostate cancer, followed by my house mates taking me they don’t want to renew our lease becaus they need a change. I feel completely on the outer in my entire life, loosing my girl, my job and my house, and my dads life in the balance. Fair to say I’m at rock bottom I think.
I’m now at a stage where I fluctuate enormously. I usually wake up feeling mostly positive about the amazing opportunities that cone from my circumstance, but most (not all) I go to bed thinking my life is completely an utterly hopeless. I’m trapped in the viscous void, between being positive about having nothing to lose so able to take risks, and feeling shattered and disillusioned with life, wanting to end it all – the money’s running out, I can’t relate to people the way I once did (no one wants to talk to the sad and depressed guy) and in lonely and heartbroken. Any advice on how to snap out of the missery and live more in the inonsistent positivity would be very much appreciated. I would say I am positive and moderately happy 70% of the time, depressed, broken and sadly scared the rest. Help!
Any tips or advice would help 🙂
I believe myself to hit rock bottom.. I used to have it all I thought house a fiancé had my two kids but not wit the man I was with and just everyday got harder and started becoming an emotional wreck. I was unhappy and then I cheated and can’t ever change that now. I was at a mercy to a guy that showed me attention that never got at home. Then we broke up I had nothing for safety money if this stuff happened I had no place to go I was sleeping in my truck and ha to give temporary custody of my kids to their fathers….biggest hurt ever went through. Now if I was unhappy it wasnt right to cheat but right to walk away. But I also had to give up alot of things… Big important ones my kids. And I lost alot of weight I wasn’t eating couldn’t stop cryin I just literally hit rock bottom have a truck that I can barely afford as is. I’m just starting to get steady pay cheque coming so now I have to rebuild. As hard as it is I sometimes don’t keep a positive attitude that I can do this. But reading ur story only helps me to stay a little more positive thank you
I guess I realized I’ve hit rock bottom last night while watch a a re-run of “Two and A Half Men” and it made me cry. Yep. A comedy show made me cry. Alan had re-married, won half a million dollars and lost it all, money wife everything. He was laying around in a fetal position (where have I seen this?) and “all was lost.” There he/I was, feeling sorry for himself and his mom gave him the “you’ve hit rock bottom, there’s no place to go but up” speech. Well, I’ve been unemployed for over a year, I have a home but I feel like I am “allowed” to live here out of the “goodness” of my husbands heart (he’s always complaining because I’m not working) I was fired from my job for reporting an ethics violation…I thought I was supposed to be honest. I was supposed to be honest I just wasn’t supposed to tell on the crooks. SO why was I crying over a sit-com? Well…..I dunno except it was too much like what I’ve been going thru. 2011 sucked. I’ve noticed there were alot of other people fired, like Charlie Sheen. So am I “WINNING” too? Well, atleast I know I’m not the only person ever fired in this world. I wasn’t the first and I won’t be the last. And since there is no place to go but UP, well I guess I need to pull myself up by the bootstraps, dust my pants off and go on. It just seems like everytime I try to go on, something knocks me down. I have a suspicion that the “enemy” I narced on is doing their best to ruin me. So what do I do? Curl up in a fetal position and close the world out? Pretty much. I’m taking baby steps now. Can’t say all of this didn’t hurt. Hope to say someday I will look back on this and laugh and say how much of a stronger person it has made me. Then I, too, will be “WINNING.” SHEESH…….
i am slowly dying………….and its a painful slow death.
i hate my life.
I had to smack some sense into my ex recently. because he kept wallowing in his misery about us not being together anymore, and where the hell was his life going now? And how would he live without me? I said to him “You have all the opportunity in the world now. Sell everything you own and start again, anywhere, and heal yourself.”
I spent a long time trying to make him happy, and then it struck me out of the blue, like a punch from God – I wasnt responsible for his happiness. WE ALL MAKE OUR OWN HAPPINESS.
So Im saying that, even though you might want to hate on the people who are lying broken at the bottom of the hole they fell in that are laughing their asses off and smiling about making it thru…Well, maybe realise the reason they are doing this is because the alternative to this is to stay there, crying and hopeless. we all make our own happiness, we all make our own choices. Now choose life and choose happiness!
the strangest thing in 1994 me and 9-12 bros n sisters not of blood but by going to same school plus past lives with a sum of us we hit downward spiral together and the bottom around same time.by 1998early we all got our lives going. all of us got all sorts of different jobs trades. but the rest got married children dreams love and life. i am so proud due to the ripped assess we were. but for me 2001-today i lost everything 7 times. i made rock bottom a career.I had such a childhood that no therapist nor counselors nor meds can fix. i was told by one that i some how like the abuse and the inner demon that self destructs me always.im getting through it but its seaming now or never. time to get goin or time will pass and whats to be wont. somethings coming if i stop and change direction to the light not the insanity or pain. i would love to be alive. its frustrating cant live cant die. so i blow this one it will cost me far now to way future.
I want to share…I am 24, and I am a Sergeant in the Army (not for long) I am stationed in Korea with my wife back in the states…I have had a drinking problem since my senior year (back when it was fun) but since being in the Army it has done nothing but cause me problems…I quit for months at a time but for some reason I keep thinking I can handle it…but this last Thursday night ruined everything…I had a rough day at work nothing too bad but decided that I wanted some mickey d’s after work, hadnt had it in months…and to make it better I kinda joked about having a 40 with it…well after work I invited my buddy for some mickey d’s and a 40…he was more concerned about the 40 and when I said I was just kidding about the booze he was like nahh so I said what the hell…so we ate, then at a couple different bars we had pitcher after pitcher…to the point to where I was blacked out and didn’t care about anything…we ended up at a restaurant and finished up our last pitcher and were walking out and my friend went to the bathroom. I noticed a couple local nationals men looking at me..so I sat with them and next thing I remember I am in jail, I was told I poured a pitcher of beer in his food and punched him in his face. Now being here in this unit in the barracks waiting to find out what my consequences are…prolly getting the boot, extra duty, my pay, and my rank all taken away…and some fines…possibly jail time… I have never felt so ashamed, embarrassed, hopeless, I know what I have to do but this is the hardest time in my life…I just want it to be a year from now…looking back on this after I been sober for a year, with a new life and thank god for my understanding and loving wife
I’ve hit rock bottom, this is the third time and at the age of 48, its not great. I have no home, no money and some debt, work is proving illusive, yet I am a qualified charter skipper and pretty good at painting/decorating. Inspite of this I’ve been hammered down and down, I rarely get to see my kids, and my few friends, well there not doing that well, and whilst we all help each other as much as we can, it sometimes seems so very pointless.
One of the hardest things is staying positive and staying motivated. I empathise with anyone who has found the rug of life pulled so hard you spend an age on your backside, but it is worth getting up, for no one else but you. I say this everyday, just hope it works.
A good friend of mine has MND, just one look at what is left of this truly great guy, well, thats enough to make me think how bloody lucky I am.
Good reading peoples lives on here.
It is always know that you can become anything that you are willing to fight for it. So put your head up and start looking forward and don’t look back/ not even to look for yours mistakes. Only decide to be what you heart feel and lead yourself to a better path. And remember that with God everything is possible.
When I left Iraq in 2009 I had no idea I would loss everything I thought was going well in my life. I came home to three teenaged kids that went from healthy to HELP (poor grades, drinking, lost, depressed, anxious, etc). I was struggling from fevers, night sweets, weight loss and after basically being told I was crazy was diagnosed with CVID an immune deficiency Without the support of the military I lost my civilian position as an NP due to my illness. Adding to the mounting stress just last month my significant other (the man who supported me throughout my tour in Iraq) died from what I was told was a massive heart attack, my finances are now wiped out, and I have to pick up the pieces not only for myself but for my three dependents. I thought 10 years ago when I was faced with going through a divorce things were bad but never did I think I would be brought down to the bottom. I pray I have the strength to continue to carry us through. Life is certaintly humbling and full of so many lessons. I am thankful that we have support through the Internet and I will pray for all of us here who are faced with having to develop a new way!
Thank you for this hopeful message. I just resigned last month at this Company. I could not anymore be productive because aside from having colleagues in Human Resources (imagine being at HR where people instead of supporting you are bullying you just because you do not share the same interests? It made me really miserable, my boss gave me loads of work that can only be accomplished by two people. I have caught myself unconsciously working more than 12 hours a day and yet I haven’t received any appreciation from my Boss. I was never promoted thus they hired a manager on top of me and all she did was gave me more work than I could contain. I just need to save myself – resigning because I think I cannot joggle those tasks anymore. I might commit mistakes that can dishonor me or disqualify me to get at least the benefits or separation pay that is due for me. Currently, I am jobless but I am waiting for the better career that would make me happy. I am starting to feel worthless because I cannot provide enough for my family. But yes, I need to be hopeful – everything that happens to us is for the purpose of creating and extracting the best from us. It is true that failures are just crossroads – a redirection towards our success. If I am not happy now, then it is not the end of my story. Yup, the best is yet to be..
I came across this blog by googling “hitting rock bottom” because I HAVE hit rock bottom, in less than a few days I am about to be evicted from my apartment, my checking account is in the negative territory, and I feel like I have lost my way…entirely. I am losing everything rapidly. I must be honest with myself and confess to the fact I need HELP. I cannot do this alone, anymore. I’m praying for a miracle.
…I need a new life…or the reset button.
WOW so many people going through the same thing. I wish there was a reset button too. I was recently training to be a teacher, it was what I wanted to do all my life, it all came to a end when i decided it wasnt for me. as soon as I gave up everything went, my ankle is busted, i am broke, my nans got dementia and going to live with family, my car costed 1k to repair, i owe money to parents, i have had to move back in with parents and i am unemployed now. its a humbling experience from being soooo sure of what you wanted to being in a life of total chaos. i thought i hit rock bottom a year and a half ago when i was cheated on by my wife to be and narrowly escaped having a mortgage with her. but this is litrally a all time low and i cant seem to get out. i know having a positive attitude helps a lot but the trick is staying positive when so much around you is bad. i have a loving girl friend but i am tainting the relationship with my negative vibs and the stupid downward spiral i seem to be stuck in. grrrrrr. has kind if helped writting this.
I dont want to be a millionaire i just want to be happy and debt free would be nice too ;P
As an individual who has been in similar situation, I can totally relate to the post. It is an absolutely amazing feeling knowing that, the only place to go from here is “UP”… almost as an adrenaline high!
To the one’s that are going through this situation, please know, that this is the hardest part. You will come out of it, and change your situations and lives for the better. Have faith and don’t give up!
Sorry for the lack of coherence in this post. Gonna type if fast.
Here I am, at a Safeway’s deli using their Wi-Fi. I have been sleeping in my car since Nov 8th after I lost my apartment and my business. I lost my dad in a far away land four days after and on top of that my car wouldn’t start at all (found out later on it was the distributor). Terrible time for me. Tried to commit suicide in my freezing car. Didn’t hurt myself but I lost it for a few minutes there. Was at the hospital overnight and was sent to a Respite House for 3 days to calm down which I did. Never had been in this situation.
My life has been a living hell since then, but as somebody said, this too shall pass. Today is March 2, 2013 so in 6 days it will be 4 months that I have been sleeping in my car. Haven’t been able to find a real job in all that time. I spend half a day at a clubhouse for the mentally disabled. Believe me, I have learned a lot about mental problems, disability. I’m the only one sane there. I spend some time fixing their laptops, managing their website, computer lab, and other stuff to gain basically my lunch. Don’t have to do it, but I do it. What has really kept me alive all these months is this beautiful soul that I met who also lets me shower at her family’s house every other day and a ton of CDs I made sure I kept from Tony Robins, Brian Tracy, Bob Proctor and Carnegie. I listen every night to “How to stop worrying and start living” by Dale Carnegie, which can be found on Youtube. I listen to them all the time. I’m surviving doing some small moving jobs found on Craigslist here and there. I’m on food stamps for the first time in my life by the way. I get $200/month and I can only buy cold foods or foods that need to be cooked which I obviously don’t buy.
Man, don’t get to be homeless; especially in the cold months like I did. I have a car but I rarely have gasoline to run it, so my car is a freezer all day/night. Weather is getting better and I’m telling you, as soon as a get a job and an apartment (thinking a trailer) again, the thought of homelessness will be the greatest motivation I’ll ever have to push me to make it big and stay at the top this time. I’m a natural born businessman. I don’t believe in working/being exploited by the man unless I have to like now. I came to this country in 1996, knew no English at all and worked for the man for only one year then washing big 70 feet yachts all day for minimum wage. I have had all sorts of businesses since then, one of them a food plastic packaging company which provided us a super comfortable life. Then divorce stroke and everything went to hell. Having my 5 year old daughter away from me has been extremely tough on me.
Again, this too shall pass. Sometimes I cry like a sissy of frustration on those freezing cold nights where no matter how many blankets you put on you, you feel the cold down to your medulla and get only a few minutes of sleep here and there. I end up telling myself to quit being a sissy; that I have survived worst ordeals. I’m a Cuban refugee. I was lost at sea for 2 1/2 weeks without water and food, on a tractor tire inner tube, being harassed by hungry sharks all the way to the Florida Strait, surviving really bad storms and then two years at Gitmo’s concentration camps (Guantanamo Naval Base). Now I have diabetes 2 though but I will God dam make it this time too.
Folks, the comfort zone is a dangerous place to be. I was at the top and didn’t plan for disaster. I hit a wall really hard. But I will survive. I will get out of this hole I dug myself into.
Stay off the streets.
You all have a good day.
So sad, pray to god and acknowledge him! he wont give you more than you can handle, but he needs to know you love him and he will help you.
Don, I’m sorry, but your situation hardly qualifies as hitting rock bottom. It was more of a transition than a bottom. Sharing your story may be helpful to others though, which is admirable.
everyone’s rock bottom is different, who are you to judge what someone’s personal rock bottom is for them? Rock bottom itself is an idiom that we give meaning to. It is not a tangible thing.
Sharing your story is courageous! And your plan on how to take advantage of the situation is rock solid.
I’ve recently hit rock bottom because of my alcoholism. I don’t drink anymore or have in a few months but the behavior and my alcohol dependency made me a passive victim and ruined whatever reputation I may have had. My career has been burnt to the ground in my area and am now forced to move to another part of the country to relocate and start over. I’m broke.
The benefit: I’m in my late 20’s, intelligent & have a decent track record in my profession. I have a great mother willing to take me in and help me rebuild myself. I’ve gotten rid of all vices and I’m slowly changing my negative mentality.
The con: I’ve literally lost all friends in my area so I have to start over from complete scratch socially and economically somewhere else. Leaving the only place you know can be scary but it’s something I’ve wanted to do for a while.
Wish me luck!
I am at rock bottom. I have less than two weeks to find some place for my son and I to live or we will be homeless. I am currently unemployed and have no money. We live in a small town so employment opportunities are slim and I have no vehicle to search in nearby towns for work. I know that I have made bad choices and decisions but I can’t take them back. I have to start completely over and that wouldn’t be such a bad thing if it wasn’t for my son. He deserves so much better than having me for a mother, I have failed him so much. That is the thing that breaks my heart. I am so depressed, I don’t know what to do. I try to be upbeat and positive but that gets harder with every passing day. I don’t know where this is going to end and it literally scares the hell out of me
Hi Kim, don’t feel alone, I am going through the same thing. I lost my job almost 2 years ago after buying a house. My life has been nothing but misery and depression ever since august 30 2011. I have totally lost my identity and am so scared of loosing my house. Somedays its hard to even breathe. How do we suppose to be positive and move upward if there are no jobs and possibly homeless!!…I don’t know what to do!
I needed to read this tonight. I have had a life full of trauma, sexually abused by my father from the ages 4 – 7, my mum died of cancer at 16, I had anorexia from 16-19, ive lost two babies, and I now down to my last amount of money that cannot even last me the week as I have moved to a new state and now I am starting fresh. In that time, on a positive note, I have finished a bachelors degree and I have been am one of 5 people to be offered a position in a masters. I hit rock bottom tonight, and felt as though I cannot cope. With no money for food, I could not work out how much more I could take. I realise now, I am on the path to success, and I will beat this, live comfortably and make it.
thank you for your optimism, it has helped me
Help, I have 2 kids (7 yrs apart). Different dads. Have been going thru custody cases/divorce since Dec 2013. I have health issues, too many to get in to. Lost job, no health ins. For me. I have full physical/Joint legal of both kids. I am not depressed . I have cfs, fibromyalgia and what I’m guessing after being my own dr practically for the last year , some kind of lympoma. giving up on finding a dr that cares or listens. Can’t afford another bill or the ones I already have. I can’t work due to the fatigue, body pain, and brain fog. I am losing
wt and can’t eat much. I am a wonderful mom. I’ve been gradually getting worse for at least 4 yrs. More rapidly last 3 mos. My kids see me struggling. I’m giving my all 100% of the time. I refuse to lose my kids due to money or health conditions.
Thank you for sharing your experience, Ashlee. Your situation isn’t easy, but keep moving forward. I’m sure you will make it.
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