How to Manage a Long Distance Relationship

Note: This is a guest post by Avani Mehta of Avani-Mehta

And Ever Has It Been That Love Knows Not Its Own Depth Until The Hour Of Separation. – Kahlil Gibran

As if it was not difficult enough to have a happy and successful relationship, some of us have to manage with long distances as well. The one we love is apart from us by miles, states and sometimes oceans. Whoever said that “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” surely hasn’t shared the entire version. Otherwise there would have been a mention of – Absence makes heart ache for the loved the one, it makes heart cry.

Long Distance RelationshipsAs I bid farewell to my husband 4 months after our marriage, I didn’t know that fate had around 2 years of separation in store for us. But soon, 4 months became 8 and 8 became 12 and … Suprisingly, these two years went like a breeze. Without mega fights, without being miserable and more importantly with us being crazily in love with each other as ever before.

A friend of mine asked me some weeks back that how did I manage to have a happy and successful long distance relationship with my spouse for over a period of two years, how did I survive the separation. And I had no answer then because we didn’t have to work much on it. However the question got me thinking.

And I realised that having a happy, loving “long distance” relationship and having a happy, loving “close proximity” relationship isn’t really that different. Both require their own set of adjustments; but in all, nothing changes. The needs are still the same – to love and be loved, to connect, to cherish, be friends and be there for each other.

So, let’s get started …

Do Long Distance Relationships Work?

Yes, they do. They work as well or as poorly as any other relationship. Being physically separated seems to have very little or no impact in one way or other on the relationship.

The key is to stay positive, stay optimistic. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you that long distance relationships don’t work. The assumption that long distance relationships don’t work is enough to sabotage it. Moreover, the question to ask is not whether long distance relationships work, but whether you want to make it work. Are you willing to put in the effort required to make it work?

Ok Then, What Kind Of Effort Is Required To Make It Work?

A long distance relationship is different from a close promixity relationship because your partner is not physically present with you. This changes how you communicate and stay in touch with each other. This provides with a challenge to be a part of each other’s life inspite of the distance.

You will be required to put in effort to re-learn some of the ways of communicating and staying in touch with each other, to re-learn how to be intimate with each other. There are a lot of non-verbal cues which we take for granted such as body language, facial expressions etc which work like a window to the heart of our loved ones. These cues will be present in a different form since your mode of communication will change. You will have to learn these new cues and learn to be more expressive verbally to make up for the cues lost.

How To Have A Happy And Successful Long Distance Relationship?

There are only two factors that contribute to having a happy and successful long distance relationship. While these seem very simple, don’t under-estimate either of them. The two factors are:

1. Be Happy

A “happy you” can bring a lot of happiness in lives of your loved ones. A “unhappy you” cannot do so. So focus on your happiness. As you begin to stay happy, this happiness will automatically reflect in each and everything that you touch.

Can I really be happy? I mean, Is it allowed to be happy in times of separation?

A lot of us think that we “should not” or “can not” be happy. After all, our partner is away from us, what right do we have to be happy. What would people think if we are equally happy with and without our partner? Wouldn’t that then be proof that I don’t love my partner a lot?

Nothing could be further from truth. Of course you can be happy. Being happy is your right; and no event, no person, nothing in this world can take this right away from you. Yes, separation does cause pain and longing for the loved one but there is no need to be sad and look unhappy just to prove your love. Love simply is, there is no need for you to prove your love to anyone, let alone people.

The more you stay happy, the more your partner will be happy. For wherever your partner is, he/she would want you to be happy. And if you are not, it would be on top of his/her mind always. Your unhappiness equates to your partner being unhappy and consistently worried about you. Learn to be happy and set your partner free of a lot of heart aches and worries.

All right, I agree. But who will make me happy. My partner is not around. I am so sad. 🙁

The answer in one word is “You”. You become the source of your happiness, you become the reason for your happiness. Make your happiness independant of people, make it independant of external events. Being happy is not only your right; but also your responsibility. In no way is your partner or your family or your friends responsible for your happiness. They can be a part of it, they can bring happiness in your life but still, the responsibility to be happy lies with you.

Agreed. Happiness is my Right and Responsibility. What’s the second key factor that contributes to a happy and successful long distance relationship?

2. Connect & Communicate

Converse, communicate, connect, share … there is nothing I would like to put more emphasis on that this. If communicating isn’t your domain, if you are not a very verbal, expressive person, if your partner used to listen and understand your silence till now, this is the time to update your skills. As I have shared below, being a part of each others life is now going to become one of your high priorities. And leave no stone unturned to do so. This will determine how much connected you feel with each other, this will determine how much satisfied you feel with your relationship, your conversations and life in general. This is what is going to keep you sane in times of separation.

Ok, Got it. Communicate, Communicate & Communicate! But how often? And how much?

Truly, this is something only you can answer for yourself. You will have to experiment to Find Out What Works For You and what is comfortable for you.

We used to chat for one hour everyday either early mornings or late nights as comfortable. Weekends were like dessert; with long long hours of chatting. A lot of couples chat for 5-10 mins 4-5 times a day. Some, don’t chat regularly.

Whatever you do, it’s important to Create a Routine. If we chatted in morning, then every morning without fail that will be the case. If it’s evening, then evening. Having some routine, a kind of consistency helped. It gave a sense of security, it showed that we can still rely on each other. Having a consistent time also helps in planning for the rest of the day.

No matter what routine you create, remember to Be Flexible Always. There are times when because of work deadlines, or other life events we cannot give even one hour to our partner. It’s difficult to promise when would we chat or for how much time or whether we would chat at all. At those times, we decide to live life as if there were no plans to chat. If, we both are free and get the opportunity to chat, we treat it as bonus. This frees both of us to do whatever we want with our time and helps in not building any resentments or unnecessary time bindings.

What are the options available to talk to each other?

Thanks to technology, there are lot of options available. Yahoo chat has been our favourite with GTalk as back up if Yahoo Messenger starts giving trouble. Webcam seems like a god gift whenever there is a desire to see each other. Sometime later we installed VOIP as well. That gives a phone in India US number. We could talk long hours with help of this since my spouse is charged of calling a US local number. Apart from these, we also conversed via emails, mobile and SMS. Use of these were very short. To give short updates or whisper sweet nothings. But they sure make up your day. A lot of people online vouch for snail mail – actually write and post letters. They claim writing brings out their creative side and brings romance in the relationship.

What About The Times When We Fight?

There are some really simple rules to fighting:

  • It is okay to fight
    It is all right to fight and argue. Supressing feelings is not healthy. We might think of trying to save our partner from a bad day or some difficult times. But often, supressing feelings can become long term and totally unhealthy. Whenever these feelings blow up, things will be more unpleasant than one can imagine.
  • Fight fair
    To fight fair simply means to fight about what is currently bothering you. Not to bring up past, not to bring up other issues at the same time. Not to make generalisations, not to play the blame game. Focus on the issue and resolve it. Always remember it is not you against your partner. It is you both together as a team against some problem. If one of you tends to bring up past or issues other than the current one, allow the other person to correct you. You can simply list down other issues to solve “after” this one gets solved.
  • Fight over phone with webcam on
    It is very easy to misunderstand when we are fighting with each other. Often what is said and what is understood is quite different leading to additional problems. Do yourself a favour, fight on phone with webcam on. Voice and face both give cues to what you are trying to say. They help connect with each other. Use them to your advantage.
  • Use your sensibility and maturity at all times while fighting
    No one gets to bang the phone down. No one gets to avoid communication. Stay sensible and matured. Fighting itself is painful for both. Do not make it more painful by trying to avoid or punish your partner. This is one of the drawbacks or advantages of long distance relationship. You don’t get to do any of these. Your partner cannot come running to you to make things all right.
  • Improvise your fights
    While fighting, there will come a time when you are not sure of what to do exactly. Should you argue back, should you simply listen, should you take the practical stand and solve the problem or should you be emphatic and understand your partner’s feelings, should you give space to your partner and give some time to sulk or converse till things get sorted. These options are really confusing. Hence, after the fight is over, pick up these moments and choices you made and ask your partner, that the next time something like this happens, what should you do. Remember what your partner says and apply next time – things will be easier than last time because of this.

What Is The Greatest Difficulty Faced In A Long Distance Relationship?

The greatest difficulty that couples in a long distance relationship face is to be a part of each other’s life. Important issues and emotions still get shared but small things are missed out. A funny event that happened in office, your little adventure while grocery shopping, a mail that touched you, updates of a friend who called, a penny of your thoughts for the day – these seem irrelevant and unimportant on their own. Moreover, after a week they lose their importance. But when shared daily, they create a sense of inter-relatedness. They make others feel as if they are a part of your lives. Establishing and maintaining this inter-relatedness is the greatest difficulty that couples in a long distance relationship face. [COMMUNICATE !]

What Is The Biggest Mistake Made In A Long Distance Relationship?

As mentioned above, establishing inter-relatedness is very difficult; some couples go over board with this and stop their lives to be able to stay in touch always. They stop socialising, stop meeting friends and family, stop all outside activities – basically put life on hold for conversations with their partners. Not having a life of their own is the biggest mistake that couples in a long distance relationship make.

Having a social life is a must. Maintaining contact with family and friends, those who love you is important. Each of us has a need to talk to loved ones face to face, to touch, hug, share smiles and know we are cared for. There is no bigger mistake that ignoring this need, ignoring ourselves. While we do so for a better relationship, isolation by no ways can help a relationship grow. Life simply cannot be put on hold for anything. [BE HAPPY !]

What Are The Dos And Don’ts ?

  • Enjoy your life. Have fun. Make new friends, form new hobbies, spend time with friends and family. Make best of the time available
  • Share your feelings.
  • Create a strong support system.
  • Trust your partner unconditionally, don’t be suspicious.
  • Respect each others time. If either wishes to spend time with friends or family, honour the wish. Family and friends form as much a part of your partner’s life as you do.
  • Do not sweat the small stuff. Learn to let go.
  • No matter how frustrated you are, remember that this too shall pass away; this is not how it is going to stay forever
  • Do get all mushy and romantic
  • Don’t forget to have fun together
  • Have a common hobby/passion. Ours was investing in stock market and making money out of money
  • Plan for the times together. Spend a day or two exclusively with each other when both are in same town. We used to go on a 2-3 day short vacation everytime my spouse returned back home (once in every 4-6 months).

Honestly, How Difficult Is This Going To Be?

Staying apart from loved one is always difficult. Nothing can replace complete presence of a loved one in our life. Even if you apply everything mentioned above or anywhere else, you will still miss your partner very much, you will still remember your partner everytime you go out, everytime you see something great. Everytime you see something which brings out a ‘wow’ from you, you will terribly miss your partner and wish there were here to share this. And missing is good. Missing your partner simply means you want him/her to be with you. Staying away from loved one will always be very very difficult.

But the point is, your relationship doesn’t have to be difficult. Inspite of all the distance that comes in between both of you, you can still be an important part of each others life, you can still love each other like crazy, you can still share all your small titbits with your partner, you can still have a happy, loving, fulfilling, successful relationship. You can still have a fantastic relationship – just the way you want.

Avani Mehta is a passionate student of life. She maintains a personal development blog at Avani-Mehta. For those who are reading her articles for the first time, you can begin by reading The Best of Avani-Mehta. You can subscribe to her blog by RSS or Email.

This article is part of August 2008 theme: Relationships

Photo by batega


  1. From someone who has been in a long distance relationship for a total of one year, I can definitely say these tips rock! Thanks Avani!

  2. You’ve made it clear that your love remains strong throughout and in because you are investing in the relationship frequently.
    These are excellent points relationship-building tips regardless of distance.

  3. Wow, that’s a great article. Almost makes it seem like long-distance relationship is easy. 😉

    Not to devalue what you just wrote, however, isn’t the real challenge getting back together under one roof? I once read that that’s what happens to marriages involving professional sports players. When they are out playing and gone for most of the time, they can stay married — but once the player retires and stays home all the time, that’s when the trouble starts.

    I look forward to your article on how to get back together. 😉


  4. My favorite is “connect and communicate”. These are important for any relationship, but are crucial for a long-distance relationship.

  5. @Nathalie: You are welcome.

    @Tom: I believe in a simple philosophy – no investment, no returns. Whatever is it that I want, I know I will have to give in a lot to recieve a lot.

    @Ari: Touchwood, till now the honeymoon phase is on (and may it always be so). But your question is valid. I will definetely give some thought to what worked in my case.

    @Vered: I agree. Without being able to connect and communicate, we would be so lost.

  6. Hi Avani: I think the key in any relationship is what you point out here: to love each other, to communicate, and to make sure that you are a part of each other’s daily life (even if by chatting over the internet). Very good points.

  7. Great tips, Avani. I started out my relationship with my boyfriend-now-husband as a long distance one. Up until now, even after we got married, he was always away on business trips. So I can say that having trust and regular communication is very vital.

    It’s lovely that your relationship stood the long distance apart. I wish you continued love and happiness always!

  8. […] How to Manage a Long Distance Relationship [Life Optimizer] […]

  9. Thanks for participating in this week’s Carnival of Family Life hosted at All Rileyed Up tomorrow, Monday, August 11, 2008!

  10. Thanks for stopping by, everyone! I appreciate your sharing of thoughts here.

    It’s my pleasure to participate in your carnival.

  11. […] Latumahina presents How to Manage a Long Distance Relationship posted at Life […]

  12. Very very good advice, thanks alot.

  13. […] Latumahina presents How to Manage a Long Distance Relationship posted at Life Optimizer. Actually this is a guest post by Avani Mehta on how to keep the fire […]

  14. Tonight, I was sitting at my computer tearing up because my long distance partner had left today for a while again. As I was tearing up and blocking incoming phone calls, I thought I should google, long distance relationships and how to stay happy in them. I came upon your article and have never read such a wonderful, uplifting and motivating article in my life! After this, I am going to make a goal list of hobbies I have always wanted to do, call some friends back and just be happy! Thank you!

  15. Great article. I met and am now engaged to a lady who lives in a different state. Even though we are separated by only 50 miles, complications such as jobs, homes, and children (I am a widower with 2 kids, she is divorcee with 2 kids) require us to wait till next summer to be married. Even though we see each other every weekend, it’s still difficult to get to the stage in our relationship where we want to be with each other all the time but can’t. The days seem longer and frankly less fulfilling right now. We miss each other terribly but love each other so much we are determined to make this year a good one. Thanks for the uplifting article. Today is the first day after one of our great weekends, those days always seem to be harder.

  16. This article is going to be my religion from now!! my boyfriend and I are going to stick by this article as a guidline so we can get through this together as a team!! thank you soo much!!

  17. A lot of long distance relationship articles mentioned that a timeline or an agreement of when the long distance part should end is important. But you didn’t touch upon this. I’m trying to reconcile this factor right now with my partner. We don’t exactly know when we will be back together in the same city. And that bothers me a little that we don’t even have a vague idea. I understand that circumstances will change. Like 4 months can turn into 8, 8 into 12.

  18. Here’s a great list of things LDR couples can do together (or for each other):

  19. Super cool article. Will keep referring back!
    My relationship looked broken because I was expecting physical closeness. I am challenging belief. What if you are distant?

    Thank you for the article.

  20. […] How to Manage a Long Distance Relationship @ Life Optimizer […]

  21. very nice article..i’ve sent it to my husband email way back home…very informative one…im sure this will work things out..tnx

  22. Thanks,

    Im so lucky to find this site.
    Actually im kind of having a crisis for my LDR.
    Now we feel like we are “in the middle of nowhere”.
    I m sending him this site and i hope he is reading this also,
    and hope this LDR will work better for us…

    I do trust him and i believe he trust me so, i think he trust me more, than i do to him.
    BUT the thing is how can i handle this feeling being “so far” as i live in Jakarta, and he is in Paris….

    Anyone could help me?

  23. Dillasoe,

    You simply will have to embrace the ‘being so far’ feeling. There is nothing that can reduce this distance.

    For me, staying in regular communication with my partner helped a lot. We both would remember minor details of what happened today to share with each at the next chat session. This sharing of small things and being on a lookout for things to share made a lot of difference.

    If you aren’t working, then I suggest to find a project which can take up substantial part of your day. Something which you enjoy doing. Tutor kids, master a hobby, learn something new etc – anything which you can put all your focus and energy in. As they say, an idle mind is a devil’s workshop. If you have something to focus your mind on, it will be easier for you to pass your day, trust your partner and miss him less.

    I used to work as a senior s/w programmer back in India. Was actively involved in the it project, used to take training sessions for my team and for the new batch of freshers.

    In addition to all this, I usually stayed busy with organising and managing sangeets (dance program in an indian wedding) for relatives, read like crazy (am an avid book reader. Must have read atleast 4 books a week. Had joined a library). And for whatever time was left (which surprisingly still turned out to be a lot), I spent with my family.

    I loved every minute of it (and of course still missed my partner).

    Best of luck to you.

  24. This was a great help Thanks

  25. Great article, full of useful tips, if you are in a LDR check it is a cool website with articles, forums, testimonials from other couples in Long Distance Relationships

  26. […] a difference in lives of people. After 62 posts and two guest posts (on Effortless Abundance and Life Optimizer), I can happily say that I have been able to provide value to readers. For some posts, I have […]

  27. One of the biggest obsticles in my LDR is that I have become extreamly needy, and he has shut down emotionally. We havnt seen eachother in 8 months, and today we had a bit of a breakthrough, and things seem to be alot clearer now.

    We have become so stuck in the waiting, and the future, that we completely forgot about now, and our realtionship together. It is important not to see a LDR as a transition, rather as a relationship in its own right that has its own ups and downs.

  28. My husband and I have been married for the last 6 months. But we only stayed together for 18 days. He had to leave because of his job. I don’t know when I’ll see him next. I miss him a lot. Some days are worse than others. We talk on webcam everyday but it’s still not same..:(

  29. Dilaa Love Her Knight
    Dilaa Love Her Knight

    This really really make me conscious. We don’t need to look unhappy even if we are miles apart from the one that we loved. Thaaanks so much for your advice. LOVE IT SO MUCH !
    You help me , a lot =) !

  30. Great article.. Thanks a lot !!

  31. Great post! I have recently written an ehow article based on tips from my own 2+ year LDR (Paul lived in Japan, I was in the United States). Here is a link:


  32. […] just found a great article about long distance relationships here These are some of the interesting tidbits that I got out of it (the author tells is much more […]

  33. […] is again from the great article here discussing how long distance couples should deal with […]

  34. Communication, trust, honesty and passion will strengthen your relationship whilst you’re apart but you really have to believe in each other and your relationship for it to succeed…. although long distance relationships can be difficult, they can work and do work for many couples if both parties put in the effort.

  35. […] Admittedly, these are stolen from this great article about long distance relationships […]

  36. This article has really helped me…. I just started a long distance relationship and i’ve been very nervous on how this is supposed to work … I read your tips and I feel a lot better now …. I’m just worried about how hard it’s going to be

  37. thankyou its so hard the first long distance relationship,love
    i hope it gets easier

  38. Excellent article. Very helpful and affirming. Thank you!

  39. Forgive me for this but I’ve been having a very depressing time latelly and feel I need help…
    I live in Portugal and started a relationship with a girl from the UK. I’ve seen her when I went there but it only lasted 3 days and we’ve been apart for 2 weeks. I feel something is wrong after I came back, because she became very difficult to reach for contact for whatever reason. I try to contact her everyday and I can only just reach her in the last moment, somedays I can’t get her at all… I really love her and I am so afraid of losing, did I blew my relationship with her?

  40. Bruno,

    I am not qualified to answer this question of yours so do not accept whatever I write below blindly. This is just my point of view.

    For how long did you know the girl in UK before you started your relationship? Three days seems like a very short time to me to lay a base for a real strong relationship.

    There could be two reasons why you can’t catch hold of her –
    1. She is genuinely busy and the timing is off.
    2. It was just a fling for her and she is not interested in pursuing a relationship.

    Only she can answer which one of the above two is it for her. The next you do get to talk to her, please do get clear on this so that you can decide your plan of action accordingly.

    Hope things work out for you.

  41. Hi,
    My relationship with my boyfriend is going strong, we fight a bit ,but its because I miss him dearly,so I tend to start fights just so I can hear him console me and make me feel better. Lately, I fall into these “down moments” where I miss him so much it’s sickening. We have been doing long distance for a year now. From Africa, Northern Canada and now the same province, I’m still missing him. ANnyways your article was helpful and made me open my eyes to long- distance relationships. Thank you.

  42. To Avani

    You were right, it was the 2nd option.
    But it ended up in the worst way it could, she basically abandoned me…
    After that message I left in the end of the year she disappeared for 2 weeks and when she came back, avoided me like no tomorow so I ended up getting the message the hard way.
    Now she went to France for work and she’ll be back in the same time I’m going back to the UK for events, and she’s probably goint to them too.
    But I’m not going to talk to her even if she dares to aproach me, got me too heartbroken to lower myself to that point.

    Anyway, thank you so much Avani-Mehta.
    I’ll be more careful for the next LDR I get into.

  43. What I like about this blog is that you can just write down your feelings and not be judged because similar people are going through the same thing. I am in a long distance relationship right now and find it to be the hardest thing I have ever done. I am engaged and while that does help knowing that we are in a serious relationship, there is still temptation out there, and especially because I am young. We talk to each other everyday, on the phone, or computer. It makes it so much easier that we live in a time where people can see each other via skype. This makes the time go by faster and easier because you can see the person face to face. And while Long Distance isn’t easy my fiance and are moving in together in August and I can’t wait! Thanks for creating a page where you can talk to people with similar situations. I would like to know what some of you guys do to make the time apart to go by faster while being in a long distance relationship.

  44. Good article; however, it is very hard to trust men (even women these days) to be apart for a LONG period. It is in men’s nature to want sex. I have grown up around men and trust me majority agree with this. So, you cannot tust without a doubt. So ladies, try your BEST not to let your man be lonely for long unless you do not mind him wonder around!

  45. i am in long distance relationship right now. i came in manila philippines to start my own career here if i could survive the city. my partner is in our province where i left to. every night i call him by phone to stay intouch with. but i dont know if how would that be long. i will be arriving back to province after 5 months cause now im just in 2nd week here. i miss him a lot. is these really difficult? oh gosh. help guys!

  46. Lady HElen Mabandos
    Lady HElen Mabandos

    Hi avan, me and my boyfriend also have this situation…we are in our 2nd year of relationship and its our first time to be away from each other…thank you so much for you article this can help us to walk ourselves forward….the only thing we have right now is LOVE and DREAMS….and were settling this up always in our mind and our hearts….I also give this site to his Facebook so he can read this, and other friends of ours….thanks you..

  47. Thank you very much for this..:)

  48. This article glued me to my chair till I finished reading it…. Thanks so much for this. It is simply helpful.

  49. Great article! I am also in a LDR and practiced what has been said above. Communication is extremely important, plus webcam ability, our presence can be felt much stronger.

  50. it’s 5yrs now and still going stornger.thanks

  51. Hi! I just came across your post and it really helped me a lot. My boyfriend right now has been assigned abroad and I am having a hard time dealing with the fact that is he million miles away. This is made even harder by the fact that he does not currently have internet nor phone connection so I have to just wait for him to find a way to get in touch with me. The waiting is unbearable and the lack of communication is of no help. Sometimes, jealousy gets the best of me and I keep thinking that he might be having affairs while he is there.

    Somehow your post has given me a guide on how to better handle the situation. Thank you very much!

  52. This article really helped my bf moved on me shortly after we started dating and its been wicked hard i just came up to see him for the first time since he left and i had my doubts it would work but after leaving hima second time i relized i care so much bout him and this article has some nice tips to help pass the time til lwe are together again 🙂

  53. Me and my girlfriend are both 14 and were both moving away, and are waiting for school to be over with, we both love eachother very much and are growing stronger because of this, Thank you.

  54. I appreciate finding this article. My boyfriend and I have been long distance for 7 months now and have another 2 years ahead of us in a cross-country relationship. It’s nice to find articles showing that a long distance relationship longer than just a few months can work out.

  55. this article makes me realize that sometimes i am so greedy.. i dont know but i just miss him so much.. i know all of our arguments is my fault but i just need appreciation.. i dont why am i so insecure. but through this article i was awaken by the thing that should be done, i regret the things when i start to snob…

  56. This is then the exact article I’ve been looking for…since everything written there really happens in ones life…(considering my self) You don’t know how much you inspired me on your insights…
    …in connection with this, hope you could produce an article on how to handle a situation like HAVING A NEW INSPIRATION EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE NOT YET THROUGH IN YOUR PAST COMMITMENT, GIVEN THREE OF YOU KNOWS THE SITUATION….hopefully it will be published soon.

  57. I read it all what u wrote here and i can say i agree with all your points of view…Distance cannot, and will not hurt a bond between two people that is based on mutual respect, trust, commitment, and love.

  58. Finally! An article that gets down to the real thing. My partner, of 4 years, told me this morning that he is probably going to go and work overseas for 6 months soon, in a business he was involved in before I met him. I have been searching the net for a real, helpful account on how best to survive this separation. Thank you Avani Mehti. Your advice to remain happy and get on with my own life, while keeping connected to him as much as possible, has confirmed that this is the best course of action.

  59. This helped me a lot. My boyfriend and I had been together for a little over a year when he accepted a teaching job 3 hours away and I had to stay where I was to finish up my nursing school. We have a year and a half left of the separation but have successfully made it through the first six months. It seems to get easier with time but when we get to see each other the pressure to have a “perfect” time can cause fights. Those are definitely the worst part 🙁

  60. This was so, so incredibly helpful. Thank you. College has separated my boyfriend and I and turned what was a one-hour distance into 11. We’ve still been going strong since the school year began, but this was wonderful advice.

  61. thank you for this. it helped so much. 🙂

  62. me and my boyfriend had a long distance relationship since then, and we are celebrating our 3rd year anniversary next year. thanks to this article, it helps a lot. now he’s working abroad. miles away from me, but still we are going more stronger. :))

  63. after reading this post it gives a big help for me to understand..

  64. I really loved this post. It made me realize a lot of things. Thanks to you. 🙂

  65. I came to this post at a perfect timing! Thank u so much!

  66. Lovely article. My boyfriend and I have been together and a long distance relationship for 2 years and 5 months. This article really details all you need to know on how to maintain a great relationship even at a distance. I think my biggest issue is staying positive that we will be together one day. My biggest frustration is my lack of visibility to our future. It makes me wonder how you know when it is time to let go.

  67. hey iam just starting a long distance relationship iam so in to this guy and iam gonna make it work

  68. I am having a long distance with my galfriend and i am trying to make it work. but i am not sure she is ready ready for us. Um in to her and i want her alot, i love her and i will make sure this works out…

  69. diana di m. de veyra
    diana di m. de veyra

    i want to recieve any suggestions, advices, any reactions for how to manage and pursue a long distance relationships.

  70. diana di m. de veyra
    diana di m. de veyra

    i am surprisingly and happy to see and read this article on how to manage a long distance relationships. i hope you can send me in my email a lot’s of piece advice because i wanted and planning to have a good partner in life in the future comes

  71. I’m 15 and so is my boyfriend, we’ve been going out for abot a year now and we love each other. We live in Spain but he is moving away to Brazil because of his father’s work… We belive we can make it through this, we just have to wait until we are 18, then his mom will let him come leave here if we’re still toghether. She said he’ll let him visit and try to convince my parents to let me go there, if not at least i’ll see him at least twice a year. If you don’t count this year or the year he comes back, we have to wait two years to be toghether again… He says he will wait all there is to wait, that he will go anywhere I am as soon as he is old enough to do so, he says as long as I still love him, it can work… well I guess it can, and I really hope so because no matter what they say, thet we’re too young etc. I am in love with him and belive we can make it… Do you think it’s possible? any recomendations?

    • Maybe this year you are 16, so you have to wait for another two years. Best wishes to you !

  72. Thank you. This is the best advice I’ve read. I’m currently going through a separation due to a job change with my partner. We are devoted to each other and want to make it work. The biggest thing for me, as a result of the move being recent, is being able to stay positive and happy. We are so close and literally best friends. It’s hard to be happy but I know I need to and my relationships with family and friends strong. Thank you again for very insightful advice.

  73. Thank you. I never get tired of reading this. thank you so much. I miss you Zead.

  74. It’s a very helpful information. Thank you.

  75. AWESOME information…….will read over and over again. My boyfriend lives in Brisbane, Australia and I am in Colorado USA. We have actually done or have gone through ALOT of what was written already. We are determined to make our relationship work out. We are about to see each other for the first time physically this month. He bought a ticket to come see me and the whole purpose of this visit is to get to know each other. After this visit……..we will know if we are to continue on. I pretty much know that we will. Thank you again.

  76. Actually i was looking for a blog like this one…
    It really help me by optimizing my thoughts regarding my and my long distant love!!!

  77. This was really great, thanks ! Gave me a lot of hope. I have been with my boyfriend for the last 4.5 years now, we even went to the same university, and now he has moved oceans away to another university to pursue his higher studies, its only been 2 months since the separation, but it already feels like an eternity, things get really tough. We were supposed to meet in December this year, but we just realised its not going to work, which means we cant see each other anytime soon, not until 10 months later and this is taking a really bad toll on me…but thanks to this article, I know how to manage stuff 🙂

  78. Hi, this is an article which helps people love eachother in long distance relationship. yes, obviously i and my partner dint see for past 4 years. i miss him.. we met in school life and now we are graduates. still a lot iof fights happen and we nver turned up to see.. and you.. we are engaged now 🙂 gonna marry soon by next year . every distance to make us to gether through out the life time. we are the same and MADE FOR EACHOTHER. MISS U MY LOVE SOORAJ 🙂 HAVE FUN GUYS 🙂

  79. i have come to realize the mistakes i was making and i want to learn more about this.

  80. I have been to a long distance relationship for the last 10 Years..!! Yes you heard it right. 10 years. We are staying thousands of miles away !!! Infact I could well be a role model or this kind of Article !!! I was very proud of my relationship which started when I was at X th standard. Everything was going fine and I planned for my higher studies(MBA) so thought of better to being engaged with her to ease her agony since we are of same age n she being a Girl from orthodox family.
    But the unfortunate thing that brought me to read this article is – even after having a 10 years healthy relationship she ditched me.. she ditched me at the end of the game. just 6 months ago. I was shocked, n couldn’t even believe my ear when she herself was telling me the truth. But after getting some proves I feel like entire sky feel upon my sky, I started shivering, become a psychological patient who lost confidence over himself. Life has lost its meaning to me in all aspect so the Words like Relationship,Love n all..
    Even being a Boy and staying out of the state I just can’t forget her.. Still wondering how come she forget everything which I can’t. Anyway its a long story.. today I am alive is a mystery by it self. Dont know how long would be able to sustain this pain. I am not discouraging people from Love rather I am showing you all another aspect of it. No matter how much depth you are in Love but have an Idea of your Life without her (which I never did..)

    ” Life is Uncertain and so do the Relations… “

  81. thanx i think this can help me and my bf manage our distance relationship………

  82. i am so desperate on how to keep the fire burning in my marriage life of 2 months now. Living a million miles away from each other made so difficult and full of challenges . came across this page while searching for something and somehow it helped me build more hope. i hope its not late yet to bring his trust and belief in our marriage life. i love him more than my life

  83. Leandro Martinez
    Leandro Martinez

    Awesome post it really helps me a lot. Here is my story…I went to Cuba the 24th of December to see my family and spend time over there (notice I live in Florida) I was bored to death until the 28th, the 28th everything changed for me, my whole trip changed. I met a girl, I brought her home with me we talked about each other and we told each other about ourselves and everything. I walked her home with my arm around her and everything. When I got to her house we made out. She told me to go to her house the next day I went and the rest of the time I was there we were together unlike the 2nd that’s when I had to come back and we decided to keep our relationship. Now I write to her through email and she replies to me every Monday and Tuesday and Saturday and I call her on Sundays only because it costs a lot to call over there and she has to go to another city to write to me. I play for my schools football team and it helps me forget about the pain but I love her and miss her so much. Any tips can help. Thank you

  84. Thanks dear for the blog, I pray it will work for my relationship

  85. This article helps me a husband is a overseas worker and its really hard to be apart to your love ones.

    Thank you!! 🙂

  86. hi love this article but one thing i dont abide to is the fact that you should socialise…. i am in a long distance relationship my self and it means the world to me if you want your relationship to work avoid socialising to the highest level as this might lead you to do things you were not suppose to do if you were at home am a proud faithful girlfriend am just patiently waiting for my angel to be back so that all the things i didnt do while he was away il do them with him…

  87. I’ve been reading these forums for a while now and had to write my story. My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half now and we have had a long distance relationship for 2.5 months (will be 3 once we see each other). We decided in March that she leave then and I will follow in July. Before she moved we lived together for 5 months and it was the best 5 months of both of our lives. Our relationship was and still is amazing. Neither one of us has ever felt this way about anyone else. From the beginning, our relationship took off and it felt like we knew each other before. We instantly fell in love and it just kept getting better. A year and a half later and I still get butterflies when I see her pic.
    Fast forward to now a few days before I’m supposed to move cross country to resume our life together she tells me we need to talk and she doesn’t think it’s a good idea I move right now. She has had time to think and be alone (hasn’t been alone in a very long time, jumps from relationship to relationship) and feels like she needs time to work on herself because the only thing in her life that makes her happy is me. We both agreed that isn’t healthy. She said she wants me there so badly and the selfish thing would be is to have me move and then she will avoid her problems and continue not dealing with her them. She said I make her so happy and things are so great that she does not deal with the problems she needs to. Her mother passed away less than a year ago and her cat that she has had in her family for 22 years also was just put to sleep. A lot of tragic things have happened in the past year and a half but we’ve always managed to figure it out because we love each other so much. She freaked out at the idea of me moving across country for our relationship, even though this was my idea and something that I have wanted for a while. She also said she does not want to be responsible for me moving all the way over there and things don’t work out. I told her I was the one who suggested this move and I would never hold her responsible. If she were still here we run the risk of it not working out, nothing is guaranteed.
    Her life has been crazy as of late and her job does not make the situation easier. She said with all that she needs to do ie. work on herself to get better and happy, work, and family obligations our relationship needs to be on hold. She said it wouldn’t be fair for me if she was in this half assed. It all makes sense but it sucks bc I love her so much and you all don’t know me but I’m never like this. I found the one and I know she feels the same way. I really think this is important for her and our relationship in the future, I support her 100% and always will no matter what the outcome is. It just really hurts and lately she has been cold and pulling away. She did say she would have to pull away because that would be a part of this taking time thing but I just feel like I’m losing her and don’t know what’s going on in her life. I guess that’s a part of taking time but it’s really killing me. I know it’s also killing her because all we have been doing for the past week is crying. I’m going to see her in a week and I am really excited because we haven’t seen each other in 3 months. I did come up with a plan that I would move out there and get my own place, job and life and we can see where it goes from there. Because the reason I wanted to leave here have not changed. She freaked out a little again and said I have to make decisions regarding me not us and said I would have to buy a car and blah blah. Those are things I had to already do if I had moved in with her.She also said that if I do move I can’t get mad or frustrated when she still takes her time and works on herself. Which I made clear to her that I wouldn’t, that isn’t my style. I was a little hurt at her reaction and said she is taking this really well and I hope to be where she is one day. She stated that I don’t know how she feels and what she does behind closed doors because she is feeling and going through same thing. She said there have been multiple times where she has wanted to pick up the phone and tell me to move over there but then doesn’t bc she knows if she does not fix the things she needs to it won’t work between us. I was wondering if anyone out there had advice for me? I would really appreciate anything you want to share. Thanks in advance for taking out the time to read this, have a great day! 🙂

  88. I’m so sorry ..///My girlfriend does not answer my phone.I think I can’t be with her the following years………………………………………………..

    I am from Cyprus, i want to use this medium to testify of how i got back my ex boyfriend after breakup, i and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years, recently his behaviour and character towards me changed and i later found out that he had another girlfriend who he was talking to on facebook, when i confronted him it led to quarelling which eventually led to breakup, i was emotionally down, i did all i could to get him back but all to no avail until i saw a post on a relationship forum about a spell caster who help people get back their lost loves, re-unite broken relationship and marriages at first i doubted it but decided to give it a try, when i contacted this spell caster via email, he helped me cast a re-union spell and my boyfriend came to me apologising for all his misdeed, we are happily together again. Contact this great spell caster for your marriage or relationship problems via this email Goodluck

  90. I am Emil Bouchard,I want to say thank to Dr Agumagu for everything he did in my life. To everyone who doesn’t believe in spell, I was one like you at first. I wasn’t quite sure if I wanted to do this since I’ve tried others so-called spells casters and they did not work and was a waste of my time and money. However, when I read so many testimonials of Dr Agumagu how he help people to get back their ex lover. Dr Agumagu answered all my questions and was very nice about everything, I decided to give it a try. I figured it would be my last try to get my ex girlfriend back. So my story is that I was at my office when the girl I suppose to marry told me that she wasn’t in love with me and never will it be and that she didn’t want to speak or see me again, especially since she was talking to this other guy. i email Dr Agumagu and tell him everything.he let me know which spells would be most appropriate for me and I chose the one that was to get her back to me and stay with me and to marry me.As soon as he finish the spells, my girlfriend came back into my life! It was a miracle to me and I’m so thankful to him, that is why i am sharing this testimony to those who need his help. Things have been going well, and pretty much according to what Dr Agumagu said would happen. I’m very happy for the love spell Dr Agumagu have done for me, my ex girlfriend is now back to me and we are living so happy. if you asked me or my friends if I would have anticipated how things were right now…no one would believe it! contact is email address ( tell +2348158847627) Emil Bouchard

  91. I need your help..i was in a long distance relationship for 3yrz..nd for d past 6-8 months my boyfriend is acting weird.. Lyk he keeps on sain uh can get a better person..u deserve mre dan dis etc..nd finally due to some small reasons he broke up..nd is not at all ready to patchup wid me..he do loves me a lot…bt he says i cnt handle relations..i dnt hv knowledge..i am selfish.cuz i jus think about myself..nd dis was becuz i used to col him up each nd every tym i was free..exprcting he might be olways d opposite happens..we keep on fighting every time..nd he doesnt like to talk much or share much..derz no point dat he does nt love i think he needs space..nd time..he says dat we would be u cannot be in any relationship..nd d biggest thing..i cannot live widout him a single dae.nd he knows dis very well.. Now wt shuld i do..shuld i let him go away nd gve him time?? Bt if i do so i dnt think we would be able to marry..nd if i dnt do so he wont love me like he used to do before ..plzz Mam help me out ..i jus waana stay wid him .nd i even agree dat i wont tak much or disturb him either..;(

  92. Five Reasons Why I Can Say Love Spells And other Kinds Of Spell Works

    Reading about spell is not new to anyone who uses the internet frequently.More accurately, most of us depend greatly on the internet for information’s and ways to fix things.It can be relationship related, or finance related or any kind of problem you can think of.So in all words we try everything we read to fix it which might just include spell casting.I know this sounds crazy but believe me spell casting is just as real as any other thing you can think of. It just turned out that the internet is flooded with a lot of fake making it is very difficult to separate the “shaft from the wheat” fake from real so here are five reason that i think will convince positively about spell casting

    Empirical Evidence
    Even before any of us reading this article was brought into exist those before us and before them and before those before them relied on spell for healing, protection, blessing and all other thing and guess what? they never complained about the failure maybe because there where no fakes then or those who asked the spell casters help completed the process rather that not seeing it through to the end.

    Paranormal That Science Can’t Explain
    A lot supernatural thing happens around us.We are either too blind to see it or we just let science explain it for us.We think anything that science can’t explain is left to be thought as nothing.

    There are a lot of those all over the internet.Yes, we can say not all are true but yet again, we can’t say that they are all not true because we can never be sure unless we go through the complete process that is required form us.

    My Testimony
    A lot of you reading this might say am sick or crazy or what ever you may please just describe how discontent you are with this article but am glad even one has his or her right to their personal opinion which this is.It can only be understood by those who see reasons with me.I was in a messed up situation and the only help i could get was from a spell caster and if i have to, will seek their help all over again because even if we refuse to believe,this world is bigger that what our eyes can see and what our senses can feel.

    Even if this sounds religious, it will interest you to know that it is not religious because contrarily to what we all know, Magic or sorcery or spell making has nothing to do with religion its more like the understanding of deep nature that goes beyond what we see and what we feel.If it is right to believe that the earth rotates because some man made telescope tell us so,why is it wrong to believe magic sorcery or spells let us gain access to deep mother nature when nature expose itself everyday.

    This is not meant for everyone to read but if you do,and you want a spell caster find one carefully and if i would,i advice you contact Metodo Acamu with this OK metodoacamufortressx at (yahoo) dot com *** use this in the usual email format just like your own email format***..

  93. Read this Article helps me to not listen to others negativity About my distance relationship im happy with my love and hope we marry soon!

  94. This is my testimony about the good work of a man who helped me..My name is Marian Christ. and I am based in London , UK. My life is back!!! After 8 years of marriage, my husband left me with our three children. I felt like my life was about to end,and was falling apart. Thanks to a spell caster called papa Justus who i met online. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet, I was searching for a good spell caster that can solve my problems. I came across series of testimonies about this particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and so on. There was one particular testimony I saw, it was about a woman called Grace,she testified about how papa Justus brought back her Ex lover in less than 72 hours and at the end of her testimony she drop papa Justus e-mail address. After reading all these,I decided to give papa a try.

    I contacted him via email and explained my problems to him. In just 3 days, my husband came back to me. We solved our issues, and we are even happier than before. papa Justus is really a talented and gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man…If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve that problem for you. Try the great papa Justus today, he might be the answer to your problems. Here’s his contact:
    Thank you great Justus. Contact him for the following:

    (1)If you want your ex back.
    (2) if you always have bad dreams.
    (3)You want to be promoted in your office.
    (4)You want women/men to run after you.
    (5)If you want a child.
    (6)[You want to be rich.
    (7)You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.
    (8)If you need financial assistance.
    (9)Herbal care
    10)Help bringing people out of prison
    (11)Marriage Spells
    (12)Miracle Spells
    (13)Beauty Spells
    (15)Attraction Spells
    (16)Evil Eye Spells
    (17)Kissing Spell
    (18)Remove Sickness Spells
    (21) Charm to get who to love you.
    (22)Business spell.
    (23) Find your long lost family.
    Contact him today on:,
    You can also CONTACT HIM ON whats-app on the same phone number

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