Being Happy: 17 Timeless Secrets of Happy People

Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.
Leo Tolstoy

There are many ways for people to be unhappy, but happy people have common characteristics. That’s why a good way to be happy is to learn the common characteristics of happy people and apply them.

So I studied what the great minds in history say about being happy. I went through hundreds of quotes on being happy and extracted the best lessons out of them. Not only are these lessons useful, they are also timeless in nature.

Here I’d like to share what I learned with you. Without further ado, here are 17 timeless secrets of happy people:

1. Forget the past

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
Rita Mae Brown

You won’t be happy if you carry the burden of the past. Did you make mistakes? Did you have terrible experiences? Whatever they are, you should let them go. There’s nothing you can do about the past, so you’d better let them go and focus your energy on the present.

2. Take responsibility for your life

The secret of Happiness is Freedom, and the secret of Freedom, Courage.
Thucydides

To be happy you should have freedom and the most essential freedom is the freedom to choose. No matter how bad a situation is, you can always choose how you respond to it. People can annoy you, but it’s up to you whether or not you will resent.

But, as the quote above says, freedom takes courage. Freedom to choose requires the courage to take responsibility for your life. You shouldn’t blame someone else when something goes wrong. Take the responsibility and you have the power to choose.

3. Build relationships

Life’s truest happiness is found in friendships we make along the way.
Unknown

Relationships is where we can get true happiness in life. The reason is simple: only through relationships can we love and be loved. Make relationships your top priority and you are on your way to true happiness.

4. Develop multiple passions

The more passions and desires one has, the more ways one has of being happy.
Charlotte-Catherine

Passions lead you to happiness. So not only should you discover your multiple passions, you should also expand yourself to new passions. This way you will create new ways to happiness.

The key to expanding to new passions is curiosity. If you are curious, you will have an endless stream of exciting things waiting for you.

5. Build your character

Character is the basis of happiness and happiness the sanction of character.
George Santayana

Building your character is essential for happiness. When you are true to yourself and others, you will be in peace.

The way to start building character is by making promises and keeping them. For example, you make promise to yourself that you won’t smoke. When you keep it, you are building your character. Or you make promise to others to be punctual. When you keep it, you build your character.

6. Be who you are

The summit of happiness is reached when a person is ready to be what he is.
Desiderius Erasmus

You can only be happy if you become who you are. Don’t live other people’s life by trying to meet their expectations. People may expect you to have certain job or certain way of living but don’t be intimidated by them. Find who you are and be yourself.

7. Live your life purpose

The only true happiness comes from squandering ourselves for a purpose.
William Cowper

To have a fulfilling life, you should find your life purpose and follow it faithfully. Find what matters to you and build the courage to follow it. Having a one-liner will help you internalize and communicate your mission.

8. Count your blessings

Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
Unknown

Being happy is easy if we are grateful. Unfortunately, seeing what we don’t have is often easier than seeing what we have. Sometimes we need to experience loss before appreciating what we have. So don’t take things for granted. Look at what you have and soon you will have plenty of reasons to be happy. You may start with these simple things.

9. Have positive mind

It is not the place, nor the condition, but the mind alone that can make anyone happy or miserable.
Roger L’Estrange

Happy people know how to control their mind. They don’t let negative thoughts come in. While a situation may seem bad to others, happy people look at them in a positive way. They always believe that no matter how bad a situation seems, there is always something positive to take from it. Your mind can make or break you, so guard it well.

10. Work creatively

Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.
Franklin D. Roosevelt

When you work creatively on something you will find happiness. There is a well-known phenomenon regarding this called flow. When you are in the state of flow, you are fully focused on the task at hand that you no longer realize the passage of time. This state of flow allows you to achieve high productivity and being happy at the same time. Here are some tips to achieve it.

11. Start with what you have

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.
James Oppenheim

Happy people don’t need something they don’t have to be happy. They don’t need certain job or certain level of income. Instead, they learn to be happy with what they already have. They have learned the art of contentment. Be content with what you have and you will be happy.

12. Change

They must often change who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.
Confucius

Being happy requires you to constantly grow. In fact, the process of learning itself is essential for happiness. Have you ever felt the excitement of being enlightened about something? Have you ever felt the excitement of achieving a new level in life? Top 10 Things You Should Change in Your Life gives you some practical tips on changing your life.

13. Use your talents

True happiness involves the full use of one’s power and talents.
Douglas Pagels

There are two lessons to take from this quote. First, you should find your talents and second, you should use them to the fullest. Working in your talents is a sure way to enjoy your work because it’s something you are “hardwired” to do. Using your talents fully will make you even happier because of the satisfaction of doing your best.

14. Beware of small things

The happiness of most people we know is not ruined by great catastrophes or fatal errors, but by the repetition of slowly destructive little things.
Ernest Dimnet

This is very true. Often it’s not big things that ruin your happiness. It’s the small things that do. Perhaps you don’t like someone or break some “small” promises. But even small leaks can sink your ship of happiness, so beware of them.

15. Distill your ambitions

Where ambition ends happiness begins.
Author Unknown

While wanting to achieve more in your life is good, being obsessed by it is not. Do your best to improve yourself but don’t be obsessed by it.

16. Make others happy

Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

This is my favorite secret of happiness. The way to being happy is to make others happy first. The more you help other people and make them happy, the more you will be happy. Happiness doesn’t come through selfishness but through selflessness. You reap what you sow.

17. Practice compassion

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.
The Dalai Lama

Compassion is perhaps the highest level of selflessness we could have. As this quote aptly says, practicing compassion can make both others and you happy.

But of course, it requires practice. Start with thinking about the people around you. Look at their needs and find ways to meet them. Even if you don’t do it out of compassion in the beginning, your compassion will grow over time.

***

All in all, this quote by Aristotle can summarize the lessons above:

Happiness depends upon ourselves.

It’s you who decide whether or not you are happy in life.

I choose to be happy. What about you?

See also: Being Happy: How Not to Love Stuff

If you liked this article, please share it on StumbleUpon. I’d appreciate it.

This article is part of July 2008 theme: Happiness

119 Comments

  1. I agree that happiness is a choice, and you provide some great tips for choosing happiness over and over again. I would add that you should laugh often, even at small things. Laughter is a wonderful built-in mechanism our bodies have for releasing stress and feeling good.

  2. The biggest thing I read here is that happiness is not an event or a destination. It’s a practice. Great article!

  3. I also choose to be happy. But, for my happiness, I’ve had to look closely at my past instead of ignoring it. For those of us who had dysfunctional families, I think it’s critical to ever achieve real peace and eventually happiness requires revisiting some terrible memories again and again throughout our lives, hopefully with greater insights and understanding each time. This is not about wallowing in self-pity — far from it! It means learning what must still be learned from out past so we don’t perpetuate the cycle of abuse and neglect of our parents into the next generation (and thus spread more unhappiness).

    It’s also far easier said than done to simply forget our past. So, why not look at it square on and then change the way we look at it for the better? On my blog, I provide many tips on just how to do that, including “10 Reasons to Keep a Diary” at http://shanelyang.com/2008/04/16/10-reasons-to-keep-a-diary/ and “10 Things I Wish Dad Taught Me” at http://shanelyang.com/2007/11/16/10-things-i-wish-dad-taught-me/

    I agree with all the other points, Donald. Great post!

  4. I totally agree with you – happiness is a choice. I also believe that to be happy is our right and responsibility and nobody elses.

  5. As Abraham Lincoln said, folks are as happy as they have a mind to be.

  6. Do you earn well, blogger?

    (blogger = job description)

  7. Don’t get me wrong, there is some value in this kind of activity. Some of the people who recognize themselves in the quotes you aggregate may be reminded of what they already knew they needed.

    (activity = putting up piles of lists of aphorisms many people can relate to, in an attempt to generate traffic, for the purpose of revenue)

  8. Definitely not without value, though not art, not self-expression. You’re like a publisher of self-help books. Not an author, a publisher. Something in me still expects each blogger to be an author of his original thoughts. Though, I can’t justify why that should need to be.

  9. And it doesn’t need to be.

    That said, the ones that most rung my bells were 2,6 and 13; the one I hated was (as it is probably for many people) 11

    and the one that made me mad, was 4.

    4. Develop multiple passions
    The more passions and desires one has, the more ways one has of being happy.Charlotte-Catherine

    Hah! HAH! HAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Forgive me.
    One more passion discovered is one more thing you fail to be able to start doing.

    The key to expanding to new passions is curiosity. If you are curious, you will have an endless stream of exciting things waiting for you.

    Taunting you. Until they become corpses. Until you forget them but not that they were important once.

    The more passions and desires one has, the more ways one has of being happy.
    Charlotte-Catherine

    You must have been rich, Catherine! Or a child, with highly faciltating parents and a talent for getting school work done in a fraction of your available time, yet with ambition… a talented college student on a stipend, an easy field of study, and contentment with a B+ average perhaps? Either way, you clearly were endowed with free time, not needing to put every moment of your time into repaying “work debt”. Whenever I start doing one of the things I’m passionate about, it takes about 3 seconds for guilt to kick in over what I am not doing, over what still needs to be done!

    The others were nonsense to me, and will ring the bells of others, providing this page with the wide readership it aims for.

  10. Yes, the world is better off with less people trying to express original ideas. Most of us aren’t able to do it effectively anyway. Proof: Last post. WHat a pile of garbage. Subnitted against my better judgement, thinking “it’s better to send inaccurate garbage than to send nothing”. Please delete.

  11. Great tips, and some great quotes too! I’ve been meaning to pick up Tolstoy’s Family Happiness for awhile now, it’s supposed to have some really great tips for living a simple, happy life.

  12. Fantastic subject matter and well written comments.
    Most of what is discussed we share on our Live Talk Show weekly since October 2006.
    Join us LIVE or download any or all of the past 150+ episodes

    The Focus Society of Overachievers
    I have bookmarked your site.
    Thank you

  13. […] perhaps suggest that many, many people are not happy. (I’m pretty happy, myself.) These tips seem better than […]

  14. Thanks for sharing, everyone! I appreciate your comments.

    Marelisa,
    I agree. Laughter is good for our happiness.

    Christine,
    Yes, happiness definitely is a practice. The more we practice it, the more we experience it.

    Shanel,
    Interesting view . You’re right that in some circumstances we need to learn and deal with our past. In my understanding, “forgetting the past” means releasing the burden related to it so that we can start anew with focus on the present.

    Avani,
    I like the way you put it. Happiness is our right, but it’s also our responsibility.

    Londoner,
    I read Lincoln’s quote too. In fact, I was thinking about putting the quote inside the article. But I eventually decided to use Roger L’Estrange’s quote which is similar.

    Proton Syrup,
    People come because they get value out of something. Otherwise they simply won’t come. Of course, those who provide value deserve to earn something for their effort. That’s a basic economic principle.

    Stu,
    That must be a great book. Looks like I need to read it too someday.

    Chuck,
    Thanks for the information.

  15. Thanks so much for sharing these profound tips. This is a post for the ages and it’s greatly appreciated!!

  16. I’ve been choosing happiness since the day I discovered that I had a choice.

    I do believe, however, that when we find ourselves sad, out of sorts or feeling blue that we must not immediately push these away, but observe and note those bad feelings. They are sometimes symptoms of things in our lives we need to attend to. When we learn from these bad feelings or memories, they lose their power making it easier to choose happiness.

  17. […] Committed to a Cause     Nineteen tips for cheering yourself up — from two hundred years agoBeing Happy – 17 Timeless Secrets of Happy People […]

  18. Brad,
    Glad you like it!

    Flora,
    That’s a good idea. I agree, we shouldn’t ignore the warning signals that might be sent through our feeling.

  19. I really enjoy reading you blog. I was hoping to have my link added to your positivity blogroll; I would be happy to have yours added to mine as well. Check it out and let me know what you think.
    Cheers
    Jonathan
    http://enlightenyourday.com/

  20. Great round-up and thanks for putting all this together. I have my own quote that you might enjoy:

    You can never have more happiness than from within. Think about everything you do / buy to make you happy, it’s just an inner feeling anyway

    I’ve just subscribed to your blog, if you like mine I would love it if you did the same.

    Take care

    Cheers,
    Glen

  21. Jonathan,
    I don’t participate in link exchange, I hope you undestand. Thanks for stopping by.

    Glen,
    I agree with your quote that happiness comes from within. I’m glad you shared it with us.

  22. […] Being Happy: 17 Timeless Secrets of Happy People @ Life Optimizer […]

  23. Thanks for this very enlightening blog about happiness..Keep up the good work.God bless!

  24. Abie,
    Thanks for the encouragement!

  25. […] Latumahina presents Being Happy: Secrets of Happy People posted at Life […]

  26. […] Latumahina presents Being Happy: Secrets of Happy People posted at Life […]

  27. I love to make people happy. I think one way to do so like you said in the #16 is to smile at people.

    That’s what exactly the happiest blog on earth is doing. Smile is very contagious. Your smile can bring some great joy to other people around you!

    Just keep smiling.

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  29. this is very helpful thankyou. But what r u supposed to do when u have so many negative, depressed people in ur life?? Many of whom r family??
    Also, I feel like i’m forever showing interest in others and putting so much effort into caring about them, asking how they r. It’s hard not to get resentful when ppl never respond in the same way.

  30. Hayley,

    “But what r u supposed to do when u have so many negative, depressed people in ur life?? Many of whom r family??”

    Hard to Say and Do, totally Ignore any negative surrounding you..if impossible MOVE ON

    YOU are more important to you than anyone else

    And you can give to anyone else that which you don’t posssess

  31. […] is to learn the common characteristics of happy people and apply them. Donald Latumahina presents Being Happy: Secrets of Happy People posted at Life […]

  32. […] presents Being Happy: Secrets of Happy People posted at Personal Growth […]

  33. I’ve come across dozens of lists like this with “stumbleupon”, and I have to say, your clear 17 suggestions really hit home. You helped me realize that I need to work on numbers 3 and 11.

    Thanks!

  34. Johnny,
    Glad you like it! I also have some points to work on from the list.

  35. This dosn’t make sense. You can’t be happy by following other people you have to find your own way!!! I’m 13 and I no this!!!!STUPID!!!!!!!

  36. thank you so much for putting this up , its really made me have a greater understanding of the insiginifigant things in my life and how they can effect not only my happiness but effect others aorund me.

  37. Hey, this is the most simple and understandable and yet most complete article on what you need to be happy that I have ever read. Thank you for sharing it with us. I put all this in one sentence: Anyone can be happy if he knows to take the right attitude toward the situation in which he is. Cheers!

  38. And it is posted on July 23rd, my birthday, hah… can’t believe it

  39. Christian,
    Yes, insignificant things are often the causes of our problems. We are usually aware of significant things but overlook the insignificant ones.

    Boksi,

    Anyone can be happy if he knows to take the right attitude toward the situation in which he is.

    I agree completely.
    What a coincidence it was posted on your birthday 🙂

  40. […] Life Optimizer blog offers you 17 secrets of happy people. This is well worth the […]

  41. […] Being Happy: 17 Timeless Secrets of Happy People […]

  42. well..i need subject 4 english …

    n u helped me thanx sweeti 🙂

    take care

    lots of love

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  44. I want to be a happy man. Thanks a lot for what you have done. Even everyone have his own way to be a happy man,but you give us more common characterics about being happy. I believe if one person can follow these way, he could live a happy life.

  45. […] ???Being Happy: 17 Timeless Secrets of Happy People – Life Optimizer […]

  46. Zack,
    I’m sure you can be a happy man. Applying these “secrets” is not easy, but it’s definitely possible. In fact, you can decide to be happy now.

  47. […] ???Being Happy: 17 Timeless Secrets of Happy People – Life Optimizer […]

  48. Love your issues on Happiness. Others do affect yout happiness, you are connected to them spiritually. As a spiritual life coach it is one of the issues that I deal with on my site for happiness http://spirithappy.wordpress.com

    I have found others play an important part not just the individual.

  49. thank you…

    I am now a happy person

  50. i needed this badly…i will try to put these secrets into my life…thnxxx a ton…

  51. I personally think the secret is just for you to CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY 🙂

  52. This makes a huge amount of sense!! ….only you can make yourself truely happy by responding and reacting in the right way to the situations you face on a daily, weekly, monthly basis.

    Great article and one which everybody can put to good use and use as a good reference point when feeling slightly negative!

    Only you are in control of your mind …from adversity comes strength, wisdom, confidence and positivity.

    Alex

    • While people can choose to make the most of it, don’t forget that external factors can turn a person’s world upside down.

      Yes, there is a thing called choice. And then there’s a thing called fate. Fate would have it that your wife starts cheating on you. Fate would have it that your company downsizes and you are one of hundreds applying for the same jobs in town. Fate would have it that you were raised in a trailer park, and don’t really know how to “take charge” of all those professional bits the rest of your brothers take for granted.

      Sometimes you get kicked early on in life. Maybe you tried to make all the right choices, follow the rules, get perfect grades, pull off a class-A smile. But fate divorced your family, gave you an alcoholic step-dad, 3 step-siblings, and you get to live with your cranky 80-year old grandma and demented father half the time too!

      After a while, there’s no foolin’ no one. You can be happy out in the woods, or at work (if you are blessed with a job), or you can end up experiencing hell.

      “Hell is other people” -Jean-Paul Sartre

      Deep down everyone needs external recognition. Some folks get it and have a great life. Some folks never did, and they usually need to join the army. If only we all see how much love could heal. If only we could really just be there for one another. But sometimes fate would have it otherwise.

  53. […] Para visualizar, clique aqui. Para visualizar a versão traduzida para o português, clique […]

  54. Wow this was very much needed. Great info!

  55. THEKISO TSHEGOFATSO
    THEKISO TSHEGOFATSO

    I BELIEVE THAT WHEN U WANT TO LIVE HAPPILY,YOU HAVE TO FORGET ABOUT WHAT THE NEXT PERSON IS SAYING ABOUT YOU.NO MATTER HOW PERFECT YOU MAY BE,PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS SEE SOMETHING BAD OR NEGATIVE ABOUT U THEN FORGET ABOUT THEM.MOVE ON WITH UR LIFE,TRY 2 B SURROUNDED BY POSITIVE PEOPLE MOST OF DA TIME AND LIVE A HOLY LIFE.FORGET ABOUT WORLD THINGS COZ THEY WONT THEY WONT GIVE U ETERNAL LIFE.LIVE BY DA WORD OF GOD AND MEDITATE BY IT EVERYWHERE U GO THEN U’LL SEE

    • Thank you so much for your post! All of it is exactly what I needed to hear and very helpful!

  56. I agree with some of your points, but relationships, for example, are inconstant, both internally (that is, their quality varies) and because they cannot be guaranteed to last. Even in the best relationships, it is very common for a person to have the fleeting thought, “what if they leave me?” It is better to be happy within oneself – then, relationships are like the cherry on top. 🙂

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  58. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.
    Ralph Waldo Emerson

    I think you misunderstood this one. In my opinion, this means that you cannot share happiness unless you are happy with yourself. I opposed the thing you said that people should make others happy first. All should start from within, meaning it should start from you.

    • I agree with you about trying to make other people happy first, even trying to “make” them happy at all. Some people have no intentions of ever being happy and it is a complete waste of our time and energy to try to “make” them be happy.

      • Maybe what he meant was “serve” others. You just do little favors for people, notice “oh she look’s like she could use a hand getting that in her car.”

        Even just saying hello to a stranger or telling a friend how you appreciate them, “Thanks Matt, I needed some encouragement!” or hiding an “I love you note” for someone you car about to find.

        You just create a positive vibe. It comes back to you real fast 😉

    • Yes, i think this is a better way of implementing this quote.. This perfume of happiness will be noticed by others, and you will be asked … You smell so good can you pour some of your “happiness” on me. That “happiness” perfume that we decide to wear will transmit to others – and others might just simply not like it… They are just not ready to be happy – its bitterness that’s rooted in their lives..

    • This means charity. Plain and simple. Helping the ones in need.

  59. Hi I read the steps to be happy and I find them usefull, I will apply them to my life and start being happy by having a possitive mind and help others to bring joy to my life. Thanks ^_^

  60. The quest for finding happiness seems neverending. This is a great article. It seems like looking for happiness in the external is such a losing battle. It is so fleeting, even if you find it outside of yourself. I am always looking for ways to get the most out of life, which I write about on my site, but none of it matters if you don’t discover happiness as a state of being.

  61. helo…
    waoo wonderful blog…
    thanx donald for this…thats great article of happiness
    i will share this article to my friendz and i will translate this in urdu(pakistan’s national language) and send to publish it to a magazine for people…
    May God Almighty give u happiness and blessings on u

  62. Happiness is about :
    – following ones dreams
    – having a choice
    – life being full of experiences but not regrets
    – helping others but not expecting anything in return

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  64. thanks since everybody in one way or another looks for happiness in life.

  65. What a wonderful website – well done Donald. Your content superb.

  66. I was looking to be happier than my present state, and i guess my search ends here at your great research. Thanx for a great article. I hope it will help

  67. I really enjoyed it. Thank u so much

  68. Thanks..
    U r great..
    God bless u..
    n i wish god fulfil all ur wish..

  69. Its an art, which is built-in, initially, when we born, each and every person needs to find it in our seif.. Be happy, life is beautiful 🙂

  70. Ariane Astraea Franco
    Ariane Astraea Franco

    … thank you for this post.

  71. Here’s another way to be happy
    First hold you’re breath for a minute(make sure it’s a full minute) then stop holding you’tr breath, you will be so happy to have air to breath none of you’re problems will even matter anymore.

  72. I think is really important to apply all of this principles to make it happen, for me, even that I strive to it, sometimes I got down by things I can’t control, giving room to frustration, there lies my challenge, so, one got to be focus, fight out own demon’s, in order to overcome this state of mind. Ambivalence of thoughts can antagonized this steps, to, meditation, and faith will help us to get to where we want to be, but even as I fight it day by day, the decision is ours to make, so, life is very short, lets learn this simple lessons early on, tomorrow is to far, lets do it today, believe me, I fight with myself, especially in my darkest hours, but even that I don’t have any problems, human nature sometimes can’t be satisfied, so, in order to defeat this mind set, practice to be more humble, and as easy as being happy for what we got, and not miserable for what we don’t, that will help, as a starter. I might add, GOD, please grant me the serenity to accept the things I can’t change, courage to change the ones I can, and wisdom to know the difference!

  73. Thanks a lot .It was great I’ll follow this rules

  74. What a great site… I found this extremly helpful….sometimes the most obvious things in life we cant see!!

    Thank You

  75. thanks you so much
    what a nice and great words !
    its fabulous !
    i’ll present it in the class at my school 😀

  76. I am desperately trying to work on being happy but life’s problems just keep on getting on top of me. Also, I am being paranoid or do some people not want me to be happy and try to suppress my attempts. Arhhhhh!!!

  77. […] Being Happy: 17 Timeless Secrets of Happy People […]

  78. Good site!

    I have to add, that happiness is in my opinion is collecting confidence. Confidence is a positive emotional energy. And the only way to fuel up on confidence is to name your fears, face your fears and act on your fears. I read a great book and I recommend it ‘feel the fear and act anyway’. As an example to the above, say, you have the fear that you cannot speak in front of people. Lets say on a scale from 1 to 10 this fear has the strength of 6. Now. If you act on this, in the face of your fear, by say, speaking in front of a smaller audience, you will actually harvest 6 points of confidence. Try it. You will actually ‘feel’ it instantly as you act on your fear! Great thing: it does not matter what the outcome is! You will have harvested your confidence points anyway and it is going to elevate you 🙂

  79. Thank you for writing this article about taking responsibility for our own happiness or lack thereof!

  80. thank for your great article i try to be happy
    and make others too

  81. […] secrets of happy people are, and decided to look it up.  The first article that came up is titled: “Being Happy: 17 Timeless Secrets of Happy People”.  17 secrets?  My lucky number is 17!  It comes up time and time again in my life.  “It” […]

  82. I personally believe that you have to focus on the present if you want to be happy. Just focus on the now, not the past. I fully agree with your point on developing multiple passions. Every one has their own hobby or w/e that makes them happy.

    Thanks for sharing!

  83. […] blog life optimizer relaciona 17 segredos das pessoas […]

  84. I love this! This is great. I will definitely use this as a link in the future on my website/personal blog. Check it out if you have the time!

    While we do “choose” to be happy, as one comment said, there is much more to being happy than simply making a choice to be happy. It depends on a lot of things. Telling someone they should just “choose” to be happy is like telling someone who is paralyzed that they should just choose to run…It doesn’t work like that.

  85. This is so wonderful and it makes so much sense. I try to
    Do most of these things but I’m having trouble forgetting the past? How can I do this? I’ve tried and negative thoughts always seem to come back!

    • Alisha,

      You might want to check out the book The Journey by Brandon Bays… it’s the best most consistent way I’ve seen to let go of the past permanently.

      All the best to you!

    • I know its been a while from this last post. I think this is a wonderfull website, I just found it and I have found it very helpfull. In my opinion forgetting the past is not the solution and not the way to find happiness. We need memories because they teach us and guide us to make better decisions in life. Every person has one purpose in life and this is TO BE HAPPY. But, not all of us can find happiness in the same way. Dont be sorry of anything that have happened or any “wrong” decision that you have taken in the past, those teach you to be brave and I´m sure will help us to be more aware of the present and future…

  86. Just want to say that this page has helped me massively in recovering from depresion. I’m learning that it’s not just ‘OK’ to make myself happy, but it is ‘Essential’. If I am not happy I am unable to enjoy life, face challenges, love other people or appreciate what I have.
    These tips have really helped me do that and I’m very grateful. Many Thanks!

  87. What a great list!
    It isn’t as easy being happy as it sounds is it? One of the hardest things is figuring out exactly what would make your happy rather than the things you ‘think’ will make you happy.
    Once you have done that you can start to create a plan about how you are going to get those things.
    It’s hard work but very rewarding.

  88. just what i needed. im researching for nice inspirational books and advice from people, this seemed very nice.
    yesterday this just came into my mind:
    “Dont expect anything from others, expect only from yourself..”
    theres still a long way for me to go, though.

  89. Nice analysis. I think”controlling” ur thoughts/emotions also go along way in achieving all the secrets that you have listed down.

  90. It took me a lot of years to realize that happiness does not come in a box, or through other people. Understandibly, most people in this world are increasingly concerned about themselves and the sooner we recognize this, the sooner we stop letting others hurt us. Take care of you and yours and you will be happy. I was a giver, but always seemed to get taken for more. I am over that, and I am happier by focusing on my family and myself. It sounds a bit sour, but I am not bitter at all. I just chose to focus on those who really count and stopped trying to impress, or make everyone else happy just to keep friends.

  91. avoid 3 enemies of personal peace…

    regret over yesterdays mistake

    inattention of todays blessing

    and tomorrows anxiety

    thank you,greatly appreciated x

  92. …never give up if you know you have rights! also if you have many risk factors!!

  93. One more point which is in my experience very important: TRUST!!! In life, in the people around you, in yourself and in the goodness and meaningfulness of existence.

    GREAT article!!!!! I’m very happy to have found it since my ship of happiness had sunk quite a while ago and I desperately needed to kick my ass and pull myself together again. This article is a great help.

    Thank you and many greetings,
    Searos

  94. thnx varun for sndn me dis link..lovly!!!! i realy needed it :)…
    evry1 knws how to b happy bt v forget it at d tym whn v need d most…dis blog hlps us to recall dm bck…. KKEP SMILING evry1

  95. I had been down for afew years and I was searching for happiness, and then one day it came to me HAPPINESS is a choice, and I choose to be HAPPY, so now if things get bad I think HAPPINESS is a choice and I work round it. I really loved reading the quotes above.

  96. I love this site. When you feel happy people notice good people. Then good things happen then positive things happen. Meaning being kind, compassionate and giving. The assertive peace we all need through the day.

  97. thank you! i needed this!

  98. Thank you for such a positive article! I will be re-reading this a few more times… I have been struggling with “happiness” for a while now, and having the wisdom of this article is a blessing!

  99. I refuse the 16 quote its not true its my own experience Dont make anyone happy because “The person who makes other peoples happy is the most LONELYEST person always”so think about yourself first then others Because they will think about you.

    • I agree totally, no one can make you happy but yourself + doing for people is not a good advice. I think it will be wise to say that you should give according to your capacities because it does not mean that the receiver will see your act as compasionate and loving. To my opinion happiness can be define by each one of us…finding yourself will lead you to be who you are and have activities that you love and be surrounded by ppl that you appreciate means that you will be happy….just love yourself n never give up.

  100. Happiness is so much more complicated than this. There are certain factors that can destroy happiness. As someone who has had depression most of my life, (family genes) I understand chemicals in the brain can do some crazy things on your outlook. I will say, once you learn a few of these, mainly breaking the negative feedback loop in your head, it is much easier. But that takes a lot of work and time and someone who is in the grip of clinical depression without these tools, it can seem an insurmountable task that will (and it might) kill you.

    I agree that these are a good starting point, but these take a lot of time to learn and it may be needed to use the help and guidance of a therapist to help build those pathways.

  101. yeah and also one of the most reasons that can lead us to happy and also success is the good communication with other people and happy is being happy in my life that i share it with other people

    • Mohammed is bang on! Communication is essential to happiness so good for you Mohammed. Best wife is one who you just love hearing her heart when she talks while also picking her brain however, that is the exception anymore than the rule as middle aged women are extremely hard to please as Independence is their favourite word along with Travel.

  102. I want to forget all bad memories in the past happens … and try being happy but what when all bad things same continue happening in my life….Sometimes things i wanna forget comes back to me after all moments i try happy to be :)… For me is stop to smile because after this i get cry … but I wanna cry, at least at day I smile… Smile is what makes me happy no matter what happens after that… be happy … LIKE this Website

  103. I am naturally happy but I find most people aren’t so they try to bring me down by not laughing with me at things I see as pretty funny but, my energy is higher than most people because of (get this people) DIET! Diet can make a big difference in how happy you are. The lady below some ways down is right about chemistry of the body dictating to a large extent happiness and we are what we eat. Eating natural foods as raw as possible makes people more energized due to more hormones therefore euphoria. People in the west at least eat poor diets, are over weight, and lack that energy. This doesn’t mean that all fat over weight people of which most are, don’t lol! But it sure helps to keep fit. Also LADIES … many of U R over weight early in life and wonder why sex doesn’t matter anymore well, the excess weight suppresses hormone production. Over all good article and BTW, I am the same weight I was when 20 and no sagging at 61 years old. The worse thing one can do is over eat.

  104. Volet Hermosa Pacres
    Volet Hermosa Pacres

    as was written in the scriptures:

    Isaiah 40:31 ESV / 64 helpful votes

    But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint

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