Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.
Leo Tolstoy
There are many ways for people to be unhappy, but happy people have common characteristics. That’s why a good way to be happy is to learn the common characteristics of happy people and apply them.
So I studied what the great minds in history say about being happy. I went through hundreds of quotes on being happy and extracted the best lessons out of them. Not only are these lessons useful, they are also timeless in nature.
Here I’d like to share what I learned with you. Without further ado, here are 17 timeless secrets of happy people:
1. Forget the past
One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
Rita Mae Brown
You won’t be happy if you carry the burden of the past. Did you make mistakes? Did you have terrible experiences? Whatever they are, you should let them go. There’s nothing you can do about the past, so you’d better let them go and focus your energy on the present.
2. Take responsibility for your life
The secret of Happiness is Freedom, and the secret of Freedom, Courage.
Thucydides
To be happy you should have freedom and the most essential freedom is the freedom to choose. No matter how bad a situation is, you can always choose how you respond to it. People can annoy you, but it’s up to you whether or not you will resent.
But, as the quote above says, freedom takes courage. Freedom to choose requires the courage to take responsibility for your life. You shouldn’t blame someone else when something goes wrong. Take the responsibility and you have the power to choose.
3. Build relationships
Life’s truest happiness is found in friendships we make along the way.
Unknown
Relationships is where we can get true happiness in life. The reason is simple: only through relationships can we love and be loved. Make relationships your top priority and you are on your way to true happiness.
4. Develop multiple passions
The more passions and desires one has, the more ways one has of being happy.
Charlotte-Catherine
Passions lead you to happiness. So not only should you discover your multiple passions, you should also expand yourself to new passions. This way you will create new ways to happiness.
The key to expanding to new passions is curiosity. If you are curious, you will have an endless stream of exciting things waiting for you.
5. Build your character
Character is the basis of happiness and happiness the sanction of character.
George Santayana
Building your character is essential for happiness. When you are true to yourself and others, you will be in peace.
The way to start building character is by making promises and keeping them. For example, you make promise to yourself that you won’t smoke. When you keep it, you are building your character. Or you make promise to others to be punctual. When you keep it, you build your character.
6. Be who you are
The summit of happiness is reached when a person is ready to be what he is.
Desiderius Erasmus
You can only be happy if you become who you are. Don’t live other people’s life by trying to meet their expectations. People may expect you to have certain job or certain way of living but don’t be intimidated by them. Find who you are and be yourself.
7. Live your life purpose
The only true happiness comes from squandering ourselves for a purpose.
William Cowper
To have a fulfilling life, you should find your life purpose and follow it faithfully. Find what matters to you and build the courage to follow it. Having a one-liner will help you internalize and communicate your mission.
8. Count your blessings
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
Unknown
Being happy is easy if we are grateful. Unfortunately, seeing what we don’t have is often easier than seeing what we have. Sometimes we need to experience loss before appreciating what we have. So don’t take things for granted. Look at what you have and soon you will have plenty of reasons to be happy. You may start with these simple things.
9. Have positive mind
It is not the place, nor the condition, but the mind alone that can make anyone happy or miserable.
Roger L’Estrange
Happy people know how to control their mind. They don’t let negative thoughts come in. While a situation may seem bad to others, happy people look at them in a positive way. They always believe that no matter how bad a situation seems, there is always something positive to take from it. Your mind can make or break you, so guard it well.
10. Work creatively
Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.
Franklin D. Roosevelt
When you work creatively on something you will find happiness. There is a well-known phenomenon regarding this called flow. When you are in the state of flow, you are fully focused on the task at hand that you no longer realize the passage of time. This state of flow allows you to achieve high productivity and being happy at the same time. Here are some tips to achieve it.
11. Start with what you have
The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.
James Oppenheim
Happy people don’t need something they don’t have to be happy. They don’t need certain job or certain level of income. Instead, they learn to be happy with what they already have. They have learned the art of contentment. Be content with what you have and you will be happy.
12. Change
They must often change who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.
Confucius
Being happy requires you to constantly grow. In fact, the process of learning itself is essential for happiness. Have you ever felt the excitement of being enlightened about something? Have you ever felt the excitement of achieving a new level in life? Top 10 Things You Should Change in Your Life gives you some practical tips on changing your life.
13. Use your talents
True happiness involves the full use of one’s power and talents.
Douglas Pagels
There are two lessons to take from this quote. First, you should find your talents and second, you should use them to the fullest. Working in your talents is a sure way to enjoy your work because it’s something you are “hardwired” to do. Using your talents fully will make you even happier because of the satisfaction of doing your best.
14. Beware of small things
The happiness of most people we know is not ruined by great catastrophes or fatal errors, but by the repetition of slowly destructive little things.
Ernest Dimnet
This is very true. Often it’s not big things that ruin your happiness. It’s the small things that do. Perhaps you don’t like someone or break some “small” promises. But even small leaks can sink your ship of happiness, so beware of them.
15. Distill your ambitions
Where ambition ends happiness begins.
Author Unknown
While wanting to achieve more in your life is good, being obsessed by it is not. Do your best to improve yourself but don’t be obsessed by it.
16. Make others happy
Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
This is my favorite secret of happiness. The way to being happy is to make others happy first. The more you help other people and make them happy, the more you will be happy. Happiness doesn’t come through selfishness but through selflessness. You reap what you sow.
17. Practice compassion
If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.
The Dalai Lama
Compassion is perhaps the highest level of selflessness we could have. As this quote aptly says, practicing compassion can make both others and you happy.
But of course, it requires practice. Start with thinking about the people around you. Look at their needs and find ways to meet them. Even if you don’t do it out of compassion in the beginning, your compassion will grow over time.
***
All in all, this quote by Aristotle can summarize the lessons above:
Happiness depends upon ourselves.
It’s you who decide whether or not you are happy in life.
I choose to be happy. What about you?
See also: Being Happy: How Not to Love Stuff
If you liked this article, please share it on StumbleUpon. I’d appreciate it.
This article is part of July 2008 theme: Happiness
Photo by Bassi Baba, dengski
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I agree that happiness is a choice, and you provide some great tips for choosing happiness over and over again. I would add that you should laugh often, even at small things. Laughter is a wonderful built-in mechanism our bodies have for releasing stress and feeling good.
The biggest thing I read here is that happiness is not an event or a destination. It’s a practice. Great article!
I also choose to be happy. But, for my happiness, I’ve had to look closely at my past instead of ignoring it. For those of us who had dysfunctional families, I think it’s critical to ever achieve real peace and eventually happiness requires revisiting some terrible memories again and again throughout our lives, hopefully with greater insights and understanding each time. This is not about wallowing in self-pity — far from it! It means learning what must still be learned from out past so we don’t perpetuate the cycle of abuse and neglect of our parents into the next generation (and thus spread more unhappiness).
It’s also far easier said than done to simply forget our past. So, why not look at it square on and then change the way we look at it for the better? On my blog, I provide many tips on just how to do that, including “10 Reasons to Keep a Diary” at http://shanelyang.com/2008/04/16/10-reasons-to-keep-a-diary/ and “10 Things I Wish Dad Taught Me” at http://shanelyang.com/2007/11/16/10-things-i-wish-dad-taught-me/
I agree with all the other points, Donald. Great post!
I totally agree with you – happiness is a choice. I also believe that to be happy is our right and responsibility and nobody elses.
As Abraham Lincoln said, folks are as happy as they have a mind to be.
Do you earn well, blogger?
(blogger = job description)
Don’t get me wrong, there is some value in this kind of activity. Some of the people who recognize themselves in the quotes you aggregate may be reminded of what they already knew they needed.
(activity = putting up piles of lists of aphorisms many people can relate to, in an attempt to generate traffic, for the purpose of revenue)
Definitely not without value, though not art, not self-expression. You’re like a publisher of self-help books. Not an author, a publisher. Something in me still expects each blogger to be an author of his original thoughts. Though, I can’t justify why that should need to be.
And it doesn’t need to be.
That said, the ones that most rung my bells were 2,6 and 13; the one I hated was (as it is probably for many people) 11
and the one that made me mad, was 4.
Hah! HAH! HAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Forgive me.
One more passion discovered is one more thing you fail to be able to start doing.
Taunting you. Until they become corpses. Until you forget them but not that they were important once.
The more passions and desires one has, the more ways one has of being happy.
Charlotte-Catherine
You must have been rich, Catherine! Or a child, with highly faciltating parents and a talent for getting school work done in a fraction of your available time, yet with ambition… a talented college student on a stipend, an easy field of study, and contentment with a B+ average perhaps? Either way, you clearly were endowed with free time, not needing to put every moment of your time into repaying “work debt”. Whenever I start doing one of the things I’m passionate about, it takes about 3 seconds for guilt to kick in over what I am not doing, over what still needs to be done!
The others were nonsense to me, and will ring the bells of others, providing this page with the wide readership it aims for.
Yes, the world is better off with less people trying to express original ideas. Most of us aren’t able to do it effectively anyway. Proof: Last post. WHat a pile of garbage. Subnitted against my better judgement, thinking “it’s better to send inaccurate garbage than to send nothing”. Please delete.
Great tips, and some great quotes too! I’ve been meaning to pick up Tolstoy’s Family Happiness for awhile now, it’s supposed to have some really great tips for living a simple, happy life.
Fantastic subject matter and well written comments.
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I have bookmarked your site.
Thank you
[...] perhaps suggest that many, many people are not happy. (I’m pretty happy, myself.) These tips seem better than [...]
Thanks for sharing, everyone! I appreciate your comments.
Marelisa,
I agree. Laughter is good for our happiness.
Christine,
Yes, happiness definitely is a practice. The more we practice it, the more we experience it.
Shanel,
Interesting view . You’re right that in some circumstances we need to learn and deal with our past. In my understanding, “forgetting the past” means releasing the burden related to it so that we can start anew with focus on the present.
Avani,
I like the way you put it. Happiness is our right, but it’s also our responsibility.
Londoner,
I read Lincoln’s quote too. In fact, I was thinking about putting the quote inside the article. But I eventually decided to use Roger L’Estrange’s quote which is similar.
Proton Syrup,
People come because they get value out of something. Otherwise they simply won’t come. Of course, those who provide value deserve to earn something for their effort. That’s a basic economic principle.
Stu,
That must be a great book. Looks like I need to read it too someday.
Chuck,
Thanks for the information.
Thanks so much for sharing these profound tips. This is a post for the ages and it’s greatly appreciated!!
I’ve been choosing happiness since the day I discovered that I had a choice.
I do believe, however, that when we find ourselves sad, out of sorts or feeling blue that we must not immediately push these away, but observe and note those bad feelings. They are sometimes symptoms of things in our lives we need to attend to. When we learn from these bad feelings or memories, they lose their power making it easier to choose happiness.
[...] Committed to a Cause Nineteen tips for cheering yourself up — from two hundred years agoBeing Happy – 17 Timeless Secrets of Happy People [...]
Brad,
Glad you like it!
Flora,
That’s a good idea. I agree, we shouldn’t ignore the warning signals that might be sent through our feeling.
I really enjoy reading you blog. I was hoping to have my link added to your positivity blogroll; I would be happy to have yours added to mine as well. Check it out and let me know what you think.
Cheers
Jonathan
http://enlightenyourday.com/
Great round-up and thanks for putting all this together. I have my own quote that you might enjoy:
You can never have more happiness than from within. Think about everything you do / buy to make you happy, it’s just an inner feeling anyway
I’ve just subscribed to your blog, if you like mine I would love it if you did the same.
Take care
Cheers,
Glen
Jonathan,
I don’t participate in link exchange, I hope you undestand. Thanks for stopping by.
Glen,
I agree with your quote that happiness comes from within. I’m glad you shared it with us.
[...] Being Happy: 17 Timeless Secrets of Happy People @ Life Optimizer [...]
Thanks for this very enlightening blog about happiness..Keep up the good work.God bless!
Abie,
Thanks for the encouragement!
[...] Latumahina presents Being Happy: Secrets of Happy People posted at Life [...]
[...] Latumahina presents Being Happy: Secrets of Happy People posted at Life [...]
I love to make people happy. I think one way to do so like you said in the #16 is to smile at people.
That’s what exactly the happiest blog on earth is doing. Smile is very contagious. Your smile can bring some great joy to other people around you!
Just keep smiling.
[...] Scara pentru matze! 2. Tricou metamorfozat in bikini 3. Cum sa ramai fericit? 4. Pentru Bloggeri 5. De agatat femei. Texte de agatat [...]
this is very helpful thankyou. But what r u supposed to do when u have so many negative, depressed people in ur life?? Many of whom r family??
Also, I feel like i’m forever showing interest in others and putting so much effort into caring about them, asking how they r. It’s hard not to get resentful when ppl never respond in the same way.
Hayley,
“But what r u supposed to do when u have so many negative, depressed people in ur life?? Many of whom r family??”
Hard to Say and Do, totally Ignore any negative surrounding you..if impossible MOVE ON
YOU are more important to you than anyone else
And you can give to anyone else that which you don’t posssess
[...] is to learn the common characteristics of happy people and apply them. Donald Latumahina presents Being Happy: Secrets of Happy People posted at Life [...]
[...] presents Being Happy: Secrets of Happy People posted at Personal Growth [...]
I’ve come across dozens of lists like this with “stumbleupon”, and I have to say, your clear 17 suggestions really hit home. You helped me realize that I need to work on numbers 3 and 11.
Thanks!
Johnny,
Glad you like it! I also have some points to work on from the list.
This dosn’t make sense. You can’t be happy by following other people you have to find your own way!!! I’m 13 and I no this!!!!STUPID!!!!!!!
thank you so much for putting this up , its really made me have a greater understanding of the insiginifigant things in my life and how they can effect not only my happiness but effect others aorund me.
Hey, this is the most simple and understandable and yet most complete article on what you need to be happy that I have ever read. Thank you for sharing it with us. I put all this in one sentence: Anyone can be happy if he knows to take the right attitude toward the situation in which he is. Cheers!
And it is posted on July 23rd, my birthday, hah… can’t believe it
Christian,
Yes, insignificant things are often the causes of our problems. We are usually aware of significant things but overlook the insignificant ones.
Boksi,
I agree completely.
What a coincidence it was posted on your birthday :)
[...] Life Optimizer blog offers you 17 secrets of happy people. This is well worth the [...]
[...] Being Happy: 17 Timeless Secrets of Happy People [...]
well..i need subject 4 english …
n u helped me thanx sweeti :)
take care
lots of love
[...] ???Being Happy: 17 Timeless Secrets of Happy People – Life Optimizer [...]
I want to be a happy man. Thanks a lot for what you have done. Even everyone have his own way to be a happy man,but you give us more common characterics about being happy. I believe if one person can follow these way, he could live a happy life.
[...] ???Being Happy: 17 Timeless Secrets of Happy People – Life Optimizer [...]
Zack,
I’m sure you can be a happy man. Applying these “secrets” is not easy, but it’s definitely possible. In fact, you can decide to be happy now.
[...] ???Being Happy: 17 Timeless Secrets of Happy People – Life Optimizer [...]
Work Hard
Love your issues on Happiness. Others do affect yout happiness, you are connected to them spiritually. As a spiritual life coach it is one of the issues that I deal with on my site for happiness http://spirithappy.wordpress.com
I have found others play an important part not just the individual.
thank you…
I am now a happy person