Note: This is a guest post from Nabil Gulamani of Success At Reach
We are all faced with challenges constantly in every area of our lives. Most people have a hard time accepting and dealing with these challenges that arise. The truth is that you will have to deal with difficult problems throughout your life, whether it is in your personal life or career.
Most of us get really afraid and run away from problems because we don’t want to accept reality the way it is. Running away from your problems is the worst thing you can do to deal with the challenges you are faced with.
I have some tips for you below on learning how to deal with everyday challenges. Start now and develop the self-discipline to practice the below points.
1. Don’t overreact- Overreacting to a problem will cause you to make bad decisions. When we are not in control of our emotions, we will make decisions that we will regret later. Next time you are faced with a challenge, become the watcher of your thoughts and stay calm so you can make smarter decisions.
2. Accept present moment reality- Accept the way things are and the way people are. You have to understand that not everything is going to be the way you want it to be. If you cannot accept reality you will feel very frustrated with your life. Many people will try to change someone or something that they cannot control, and when it doesn’t work out for them they feel miserable. Once you can accept reality (including the challenges that you are faced with), you will be able to be more calm and think more clearly about how to get a step further towards your goals every day.
3. Don’t blame others- Many people make a habit of blaming others for all their problems. They fail to take full responsibility for the decisions they have made in life. The more you blame others with the challenges you are faced with, the more you will make people dislike you and not want to be around you. The first thing you want to do when faced with a personal challenge is not to start pointing fingers at others.
4. Practice detachment- Make a habit of detaching yourself from any outcome. Detachment means that you are not attached to any given result in life. I remember in the past when I did public speaking and got really nervous. The reason I was fearful of public speaking was because I was too caught up thinking about what the audience was thinking of me. The fact is that there are some people that are not going to like what you say and others who may like what you have to say, therefore your job is to accept the way people are and not get worked up emotionally and mentally over someone not liking you. When you start practicing detachment, many of your fears and insecurities will disappear.
5. Don’t overanalyze- When you think too much about a situation or event that occurred, you will start to judge everything and everyone. When you think too much you will have a very tough time accepting reality and you will think that something is not right. Overanalyzing can also cause you to not take action on your goal, which can make you really frustrated in the long run.
6. Accept “changes’ in your life- You will have to deal with changes in life all the time. Many people don’t like change and they resist it because it gets them outside of their comfort zone. You may be unhappy or happy at certain times; however you have to realize that those two states are not permanent. You have to train your mind to be at peace at all times regardless of the emotional state you experiencing.
7. Don’t compare your lifestyle with others- I know it is really difficult not to compare ourselves with other people, however the more often we do that, the more frustrated we will feel. There will be people that may have accomplished more than you. The key thing to remember is that you create your own story and success in life.
Nabil Gulamani is in Sales and helps businesses nationwide with their Direct Marketing needs. In the evening he works on writing and posting helpful articles on his Personal Development blog aimed at helping people take their lifestyle to a whole new level. You can visit his Self-Improvement blog www.successatreach.com.
Photo by Zach Dischner
I find challenges and problems to be growth opportunities in disguise.
A very useful article, I have just printed it out and left a copy beside my bed for me to remind myself each day!
Sticking to these points everyday won’t simply change your daily life but will change your whole life for the better if done consistently.
Great Tips!
Yes Kian,
Consistency is key..You then build a natural habit over time..
Nabil
This was so appropriately timed! I discovered two college students cheating on their assignments yesterday, tragic. Your post helps me remove myself from their situation; incredibly helpful. Many thanks! – Megan
Hi Meghan,
woww what an experience….Sometimes you can’t control the situation…People learn their lessons sooner or later from the mistakes they made…
Cheers,
Nabil
Not overreacting is key to overcoming setbacks and challenges. It may take a week or two depending on the situation before you’re able to relax and see what the next step is.
Sean I am in sales and many times I have to deal with uncertainty and challenges dealing with clients…I totally agree with you…For some people it takes longer to accept the reality of problems and others can deal with it sooner..
Nabil
For me,my basic problem is worry.i do worry much about little things,sometimes its about making a good life,atimes is about future on happy home.cos am 1st in the family 13 which means invariably that all my younger once have graet expectations from me and its not so eazy for me to meet up compared to the natureand reality of our nigerian economy .i am a university graduate though,job hasnt come yet and certain things needs to be inplace at home which my parents are grossly incapable of providing them.this makes me worry so much.
Indyor….Sometimes the reason people get minor worries is because they have high expectations…You should read a book called “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle…It will help a lot
Cheers,
Nabil
You have really written an excellent article about how to deal with challenges in life. I like almost all the articles written on your site. For me, the basic problem lies in us. We actually understand how to deal with challenges in life. But we don’t ever try to do something to make that possible. Actually we are afraid of making mistakes. This is the reason, most of the time, we are unable to take challenges even when we can handle it very easily.
I would like to suggest two more ideas. The first is to put things in perspective. When we experience problems and obstacles we tend develop negative emotions and focus on all the bad things that may happen. Try to consider the worst case scenario. Is it really so bad? can you survive it? Were you able to overcome similar situations in the past?
Then, allocate time for a brainstorming session. Try to come up with all possible ideas and solutions. You can do this all by yourself, but if the challenge is big it would be even better if you can do it with a close friend. He/she will always be able to see things that you don’t.
Hi Justin,
Yes I do agree challenges and problems are good for making you grow internally..I also believe that the more challenges we face, the more character we develop as well.
Nabil
I particularly like the comment about ´don’t blame others´. This is a common excuse and perhaps a difficult one to overcome.
Excellent article. So much of dealing with challenges is your outlook. A positive outlook – seeing obstacles as challenges you can face with enthusiasm (as you would say a challenging crosswrod puzzle); recognizing and relishing the opportunity involved can make all the difference.
im very much open to share and spare what i have, the best i could share all the capacity,that max i could for the sake of family,i even ignore,neglect myself just to reach them,so then no guilt,conscience before,but there times im felt tired of extending maybe because as if theres no one could reach just me alone.But i”ve realized if that situations happened to me i may also looking for someone could help me.
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good and bad time are part of human existence and none is exempted from it. challenges are meant to make us stronger not weaker.
This is the philosophy of life which many people do not understand.
All the religions are based on this philosophy (or way of thinking), but , unfortunately , people have changed their religions to match their cultures.
Being at the present moment is the key to success in life.