If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living.
Gail Sheehy

You need to change in order to grow. You can’t grow if you just stay where you are. You can’t grow if you don’t change the way you think and act. In fact, changing your life is a continuous process. It never ends. The moment you stop changing, you stop growing.

Tips to change your lifeI’m not saying that I know everything about changing life. I’m still learning myself. But here I’d like to share with you what I have learned so far.

Here are ten tips to change your life:

1. Slow down

To change your life, you need time to think and reflect. If you are always busy, you won’t have the time to think about your life let alone taking action to change it. You won’t have the room to apply the tips below. So slow down and make the room for change.

Slow down and enjoy life. It’s not only the scenery you miss by going too fast – you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.
Eddie Cantor

2. Be willing to change

Willingness is essential. It’s your life; nobody can change it but you. If you aren’t willing to change, then nothing in this world can make you do so.

To build the willingness to change, first you should realize that your life can be better than it is now. No matter how good your life is, it can always be improved. On the other hand, don’t feel hopeless if your life doesn’t seem good right now. You can always change your life for the better.

3. Accept responsibility

Accepting responsibility for your life is a must. Don’t blame other people for the bad things that happen in your life. Don’t blame your family, friends, boss, or the economy. Whether your life goes up or down depends on you and you alone. Once you take the responsibility, real change is within your reach.

We immediately become more effective when we decide to change ourselves rather than asking things to change for us.
Stephen Covey

4. Find your deepest values

Deep down in your heart, there are some principles that you know is true. Take the time to find them. What do you think is the most valuable thing in life? What principles do you think you must follow to live a fulfilling life? These are the values you need to align yourself with. Find them and remind yourself constantly about them.

5. Find your cause

Change is not easy because there is inertia you need to overcome. Just like a space shuttle needs a powerful rocket to overcome the Earth’s gravity, you also need a powerful source of energy to overcome the inertia to change. Your cause is the source of energy you need. Your cause can give you the strength to overcome the inertia. To find your cause, find what matters to you.

6. Replace limiting beliefs with empowering beliefs

Limiting beliefs are among the biggest obstacles that hinder you from changing your life. You need to identify them before you can effectively handle them. To identify your limiting beliefs, observe your mind for thoughts that contain phrases like:

  • “I can’t …”
  • “I won’t be able to …”
  • “I will always be …”
  • “There is no way …”

Whenever you find one, write it down. After some time, look at your list. These are your limiting beliefs.

After identifying your limiting beliefs, you need to replace them with empowering beliefs. Write positive statements that counter the negative ones you wrote before and make positive affirmations using those statements. Do it whenever you realize that a limiting belief is at work.

7. Replace bad habits with positive habits

Besides identifying limiting beliefs, you should also identify bad habits you have. Are there habits that drag you down? Are there habits that you know you need to break? List them all.

Then, rather than focusing on breaking those habits, focus on creating new positive habits that replace them. For example, let’s say the bad habit is watching too much TV. Rather than focusing on reducing your TV time, you should focus on building a positive habit that will use the time in a better way. For instance, you might want to build the habit of reading.

8. Find a mentor

Finding a mentor can greatly help you improve your life. Not only can your mentor give you advice on what to do in certain situations, he can also warn you about possible pitfalls in your path. Without a mentor, most likely you will have to learn many lessons the hard way. Having a mentor will save you serious amount of time.

Getting a good mentor is not easy though. In many cases, you can’t just expect someone to invest his time in you for nothing. At the very least, you should show that you are an open-minded and teachable person. Furthermore, try to be useful to your mentor. Help him in any way you can to make his job easier. This way you send a message that you are a serious mentee that is worth investing in.

9. Have the right expectation

Having the right expectation from the beginning is important. Otherwise, it’s easy for you to be discouraged when things don’t go as expected. Change takes time, especially if you want the change to last. Having the right expectation prepares you to be persistent in difficult times.

10. Maintain the momentum

The most difficult part is always the beginning. Once you go through it, things will become easier if you maintain the momentum. Just think about pushing a car. The most difficult part is getting the car to start moving. Once it’s moving, pushing it will be easy as long as you don’t let it stop again.

Similarly, you should keep improving your life. Change your life day by day. As the quote above says, if you don’t change, you don’t grow.

Photo by pimpexposure


Categories: Attitude, Purpose

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  • http://www.MiniLifeHacks.com MiniLifeHacks

    Nice list, thanks.
    I think these might distill down to 3 simple things, that I’m sure we’ve all heard before:
    Confidence
    Knowing yourself
    Living in the now

  • http://www.mengjade.com Jade

    Once you take the responsibility, real change is within your reach.

    I can’t agree more with this.

    Changing never ends. There is always room for improvement.

  • http://www.moneyyoung.com Nate @ Money Young

    Nice post Don!

    I like #6, I hate all of those phrases!

    -Nate

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  • http://mindspiritmotion.com Atika

    I think number 3 is a tough one. It’s sometimes hard to leave your comfort zone and dare to take responsibility for what your life will be. With so much instability in the employment sector, I think more and more people are having to get on the steering wheels of their lives, and this causes fear.

    Number 6 is also very important. I try making my son understand that what we say of ourselves influences our outcome. “I can”, “I will find a way”, “I am capable of” are affirmative orders that our minds execute one to one.

    Finding out your deepest values and finding a cause is as important as getting to know yourself better:
    What do I love to do and why? Which values do I recall?
    What am I good at?
    What do people around me think I’m good at?
    What can I do easily?

    These are questions that can open up doors to life changing opportunities; digging into your soul and finding what feels right for you and what inspires you in order to move your efforts in that direction is, in my opinion, a beautiful way to start a life changing project.

    I made a list of 15 questions that can bring joy to your life if you’re interested in reading on, here: http://mindspiritmotion.com/wp_admin/prosperity/2009/02/12/15-questions-that-can-bring-joy-to-your-life/

    Thanks Donald for this list!

  • http://www.mihambablog.com Miki

    Growth is change. Why are so many of us afraid of that word – change. I’ve always welcomed change…I guess I’m one of the minority that actually thrives in changing environments. However, most of the people I know are fearful of change. It just fascinates me.

    Your #3 – Accepting Responsibility – is the hardest thing and also the first step. #8 – Find a Mentor – is a natural second step (in my analytical mind) considering that you’re likely venturing into unfamiliar territory. A great support network is a booster shot to being successful.

    I like your perspective Don!

  • http://www.lifeoptimizer.org Donald Latumahina

    MiniLifeHacks,
    Each of the points you shared is deep but contains a lot of truth.

    Jade,

    There is always room for improvement.

    Yes. I don’t think we can ever be perfect, but we can always grow.

    Nate,
    I hate them too :) Sadly, I sometimes still have them in my mind.

    Atika,
    Yours is a nice list of question. I think the question “What makes you unique? What distinguishes you from everybody else?” is especially important for our career in the future.

    Miki,

    A great support network is a booster shot to being successful.

    This is very true. It makes a lot of difference if you have a strong support network behind you.

  • Vinaya

    Great post

    self improvement is not a destination but a continuous journey which one has to take one step at a time

    the only thing that is permanent in this world is change , we should always be receptive to change that enables a person to grow and become a more better human

  • http://www.maximizingutility.com Vi | Maximizing Utility

    Your list is one of the best I’ve found. It’s clean and simple. It’s not rocket science.

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  • http://www.beatingthegrind.net Dustin @ Beating the Grind

    Great article.

    I especially liked #8. Having a mentor has been very valuable for me. A common misconception is that a mentor has to spend a lot of time with you to be a effective. Lunch, a phone call or email can sometimes be just what you need to gain some perspective or insight into a problem.

  • http://blog.dreambuilders.com.au Liara Covert

    This is a straightforward way to encourage human beings to take new levels of responsibility for their lives. Raising awareness builds self-nowledge and strengthens inner power. I have added this blog to the dreambuilders Australia blogroll.

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  • http://selfimprovementhelp.net Jack TP

    A nice list..!

    I personally put a lot of attention on surrounding myself with positive people that encourage change and growth.

  • Rajendra Nath Mehrotra

    Dear Sir,
    Though ur presentation is quite good but lot of things are missing, e.g;:1. One can learn only if he /she is willing to learn. f
    2. One can learn in the fields for which he or she has an “Aptitude”.3. How far can he or she go , depends upon the ‘Attitude’ of individual.
    If U can define ‘Confidence’ and how to differentiate between confidence & over-confidence , everything will be answered.
    With due regards;
    Mehrotra * waiting for ur reply

  • http://www.lifeoptimizer.org Donald Latumahina

    Vinaya,

    self improvement is not a destination but a continuous journey which one has to take one step at a time

    That’s right. Self improvement is a continuous journey and that’s why we must always change to grow.

    Vi,
    Glad you like it.

    Dustin,

    A common misconception is that a mentor has to spend a lot of time with you to be a effective.

    I agree. I don’t spend a lot of time with my mentors but I learn a lot from them. The quality of time is more important than the quantity.

    Liara,
    Thanks!

    Jack,

    I personally put a lot of attention on surrounding myself with positive people that encourage change and growth.

    That’s indeed an important part of personal growth. You become more and more like the people you surround yourself with.

    Mehrotra,
    I’m still learning myself so there are many things I don’t know. Here I just shared my experience. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

  • Rajendra Nath Mehrotra

    Dear Sir,
    Please refer back to my question – 1. Definition of Confidence.
    How to differentiate between Confidence & Over – confidence?
    Waiting for ur reply.
    According to my experience :1. One learns only if He or She has a desire to learn.
    2. Desire to learn depends on a) Aptitude & b) Attitude.
    3. Motivation is purely the ability to change above 2 traits of a person.
    4.It is also dependent on the skills of communication.
    There are many other things which I desire to discuss to improve myself and I think that this process of exchanging Ideas and thoughts will be beneficial for all.

    In a hope of receiving reply from U;

    With due regards;

    Mehrotra ( mehrotra001@gmail.com )

  • http://reikihelp.com/blog Pamir | Reiki Help Blog

    Thanks for your contribution to the 177th Carnival of Healing. There are some great comments accumulating on the original post & you may want to take a gander. :)

  • http://www.sayyestoadventure.blogspot.com/ April

    Thanks for the post–basic tips but these are things we often forget about when things aren’t working out right. We will keep doing what we are doing and keep getting what we are getting and not think to go back through your tips and figure out the bad habits aren’t working for us. Good reminder!

  • http://hpshappy.blogspot.com HP van Duuren

    Thanks for your post,

    Those look like great tips to me.

    All the Best,
    To your Happy Inspiration,
    HP

  • http://www.motivational-well-being.com Kevin

    Good post, I would add surrounding yourself with people who live to a higher standard than you currently do. Since we’re influenced by our peers, these people will force you to grow beyond your comfort levels in a natural way. You’ll pick up traits and habits that will help you improve your life.

  • Rajendra Nath Mehrotra

    Dear Sir,
    I may be % wrong but in my personal opinion, If are surrounded by the persons of standards higher than that of urs, U may improve but there is every likelihood that U will first pick up their BAD Habits.
    The most difficult thing in the world is to inculcate Good Habits,
    maintain them & improve upon.
    Sometimes, to pick up a Good Habit, for which U have an aptitude also, may take years but one picks up bad habits in astonishingly short time but can’t get rid of it even if He desires but does’t have the kind of ‘Will Power’ required.
    Take the example of Diego Maradoa & Other such celebrities, what happened to them. Persons who fell pray to bad habits are in billions ,but those who learn’t from greats like; Martim Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi,Mother Terresa and other such great personalities, can be counted on fingers.
    Not that we get inspired by such people as suggested by U, in most of the cases, its effect is very temporary.
    Each & every person knows that they have to die one day and therefore should spend their life in a noble way, but how many really do that?
    The moment U visit a cemetery, U get a feeling that life is really very short and we too would be ending up like this only and hence we should preserve and follow good and and noble traits only in the remaing life but,what happens in actual; the moment U are out, U come back in ur own world of Status.
    In Sanskrit language, this feeling is termed as ‘Smashan Vairagya’. Smashan- means cemetery& Vairagya means a feeling of detachment with awekening of all good traits ur supposed to inculcate, follow and reform. Since such feeling in ur mind remain till u are in cemetery and evaporates the moment U are out – ” It is called as Smashan Vairagya”.

    With due regards;

    Mehrotra

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  • Julie Andersen

    It can’t be right actually.
    Heey. I’m just joking (;
    I’m totally agree with this. We must have change, because change is grow and without growing we aren’t really living.
    I like the sentence :D
    But actually it’s right. when we change we grow, and for each step we grow we are getting closer and closer to our goal. Actually it’s a help to us to reach it. Even if the changes is hard and difficult we must remember that we must take it as we take succes and happiness. Happy moments come and then go´. So remember if u are in a diffucult time remember that it won’t be last forver (; Actually in the scool we learn’t to or the teachers teach us and then we got to the exams. BUT in life we take the exam first and then teach of it. So always keep in your mind that we learn from mistakes so don’t be afraid for changes.
    —….——– :D

  • http://www.lifeoptimizer.org Donald Latumahina

    Julie,

    BUT in life we take the exam first and then teach of it.

    I completely agree. Well said :)

  • http://minthipruang@yahoo.com yuna

    how can i change my personality to be nice..??

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  • http://www.live365.com/stations/nikkilandry Nikki

    One thing, I’d like to add to this post is, surround yourself around people who are successful and all around “a good person”. I really enjoyed this blog, thanks. I’m starting to change my life in a better, more positive way…starting today! Thanks keep up the great work.

  • http://www.lifeoptimizer.org Donald Latumahina

    Nikki,
    Thanks for the kind words! And congrats for your good start. You can definitely make it.

  • http://www.successfullifechange.com/ Christa

    I enjoyed reading your list and it is a very good build up and researched articles. – Every change is difficult, should be thought through and prepared.

  • kenneth

    thanks a lot.. it really helps.. ill try i mean ill do my best for a change in me.. for me, my family, relatives, friends and love ones..

  • patricia may

    i agreed with this ways…thnz

  • Kristy Kwei-Narh

    Hi

    thank you very much for opening my eyes on things that i have been trying very hard to fix my self into all this while. thank you very much.

    you have made me to understand that it is always good to say something in the negative but rather is shoulld always be in the positive to as to be fulfilling in out destines. i will accept responsibilities, take total control of my environment, and start somewhere.

    thank you

    Kristy

  • patrick

    thanks for every thing.

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  • bill

    im having a hard time rite now changing things that i know need changing. but i never keep the change going, like it dies or i give up, but in order for my life to be happy i know that change is what its goin to take and i really want it! i dont want to lose everything that means so much to me… any info will help thanks

  • http://www.bondibuddha.com Rob Thomas

    You want change? At 48, I sold all my worldly possessions that would not fit into a backpack and left my life in Los Angeles for a year-long adventure of a lifetime. I traveled through Thailand, Cambodia and Malaysia meeting some of the most incredible people and it was truly life changing. I was seriously stuck. I didn’t want to live a moment longer working at some job or business I hated. During my adventure I became inspired. The stress in my body disappeared. I was sleeping all night, something I hadn’t done for years… and i was in love with life again. I know that in my heart I love adventure and I love to have fun and so I dreamed up a way of sharing that with the world – Bondi Buddha. Today I live in Huntington Beach where I recently moved to pursue my love of surfing, the ocean, the beach and beach life. I do what is in my heart everyday, even it it means I surf all day. I am no longer about material possessions, in fact I live in a van! LOL. I know that any major success i may have will go towards helping others. I am a changed man and very happy : ) I say to anyone reading my little post here, it’s never too late to change your life. You might have to make some sacrifices, but believe me when you are on the right path, you wont care.
    Good luck all.

  • JoshuaJHer

    Hi,
    I’ve been having a rough time the past couple months. I’m a young guy I just turned 22. Ive recently been having a round a bad luck. I know I need help to change how I am and the actions I make. You mentioned a mentor and that sounds great. My problem is I dont know how to meet people. I always feel like I am getting attacked or that someone is out to get me. So I avoid meeting new people and stick to a very close small handfull of people I regularly talk to. I wouldn’t know where to look for a mentor at? Where in my city could I find that at? I live in Santa Fe, New Mexico. It’s a very magical place I don’t know the right word for it but its very “hippish” allot of earthly people. But i don’t know where to even look. Please help me!

    Thanks,
    Joshua H

  • ola

    I have a proble not being able to tell sumone no. I’m a very kind and soft hearted person and this includes my children my son is sixteen will be seventeen in a couple months and I have a problem telling him no and letting him stand on his own two feet to get ready for the adult world. I have done this his whole life and I need sum ideas to help me change this. I know no one can do this for me but I could use sum ideas on how to begin this change. I realy want him to learn responsibility and not rely on anyone but hiself. Please sum ideas would be great before I loose sumone very important to me and my son grows up a adult like me and rely oneveryone else to make decesions in his life. Thank u in advance

    • Dalu Nyoni

      start with giving household chores so that he can be responsible or make him earn for what ever work he does

  • Dipuo Xheecho

    Hi
    I thank you very much for driving me through the effective ways that i will right now start depend to. I secondly thank you for the time that you took to come up with such influencing and innovating ways that everyone has found so fit and useful to rely on. From now onwards you will be my second mentor on this communication channel.

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