Being well liked is what most people want in relationships. The benefits are obvious. You will get the help you need at the time you need it. People will give you information about new opportunities you didn’t know before. Above all, they will really care and love you.
But how could you get other people to like you? How could you become a well liked person? There is actually just one simple rule to follow: you should like other people before they like you. When people realize that you like them, it’s very likely that they will also like you.
Regarding this, I believe that there is one and just one message you need to deliver in your relationships. Delivering this message is the key to strong relationships, and here it is:
You are important to me.
That’s it. No more, no less. Not “your money” nor “your knowledge”, but “you” - as a person - are important to me. Anything you should do in relationships stems from this message. There more you succeed in delivering this message, the more people will like you.
So here I’d like to share 33 tips on how to deliver this message in your relationships. Consequently, these are also tips to become a well liked person. Here they are:
- Give your contacts a big smile when you meet them. Make them feel that you are really happy to meet them.
- Give your full attention to the people you converse with as if nothing else is important.
- When they ask for your attention, leave whatever you are doing.
- When they call you, greet them with enthusiasm as if you are longing for their call.
- Don’t make them wait.
- Print the list of your contacts and look at it in your spare time. It will remind you of whom to touch base.
- Always reply your contacts’ emails and text messages.
- Reply their emails and text messages in the first chance you get.
- Shake their hands with enthusiasm.
- Praise them sincerely when they do something good. Make them feel that you are proud of them.
- Always return their calls.
- Send a message to them on their birthdays. Even better, call them.
- Drop your old contacts quick emails or text messages to ask how they are doing.
- Remember their names and achievements.
- Remember important facts about them, especially the things they really care about (you may want to write them down).
- Introduce them to the people in your contact who may help them out.
- Actively find the deepest needs they may have (without waiting for them to explicitly tell you).
- Take initiative to give them the solutions they need.
- Give thanks for them in your session of gratitude.
- Mention their names in your prayer.
- Talk with them about their life.
- Ask them specific questions about things they care about. They will realize that you care enough to remember their facts.
- Give them something precious you have. Time is a good candidate.
- Go eat with them. Even better, treat them.
- When you meet them, don’t look at your watch as if you have something more important to do.
- When you talk to them, don’t look over their shoulder as if you are looking for someone more important to talk to.
- Send the quick tips or articles you just found which may benefit them.
- Message them encouraging words or quotes.
- Lend them the best books or DVDs you have.
- Talk to them about how you like your other friends. They will think that you may talk the same way about them.
- Don’t talk negatively to them about how you don’t like your other friends. They will think that you may also talk the same way about them.
- Occasionally mention their names in your conversation with them.
- Be creative to give them small surprises every now and then.
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Comment by t3rry
1 25. July 2007, 6:32 pm o'clock |
Isn’t it interesting that these are things we automatically do for people we really do like?
After reading this I easily concluded that some people had used these techniques on me to get what they wanted and afterwards just forgot me and moved on to their next victim. A sincerity meter needs to be included with this.
I would rather have one real friend than 1000 pretend friends, remembering of course that we have limited time and energy in our day. If a person is sincere, I will like them and be their friend regardless of whether I condone their actions.
Helping a dear friend “hide the bodies” would be more satisfying than holidaying with someone who is just using me as a popularity meter, or as personal entertainment so they don’t have to feel alone. I’ve no wish to be anyone’s personal ornament, nor do I want to do that to another person.
Your “to do” list reads like what evolves naturally when commitment is there.
If you use this list, or not … be sincere.
In business, the list reads like a charm and could easily have been written by Dale Carnegie himself.
(see: Dale Carnegie, “How to Win Friends and Influence People”)
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t3rry