For the past two years I have loved my job; the responsibilities are spot on for my skill level, I am challenged daily, great managers, great team, I moved to live close to the office so I could work longer hours and retain a life balance and made a large circle of friends in other departments by networking.

Last month I was moved to another office location, along with 8 coworkers, the remaining 100+ people I have worked with for the past 2years remain in the existing space. The new space is baron, dark, 15% occupied and depressing. Not only do I now have to commute on the subway every day but I arrive to a lacklustre and lonely office space.

I have tried speaking with my managers to no avail. If anything I have damaged my career by highlighting my unhappiness however I am frustrated that I no longer love coming to work and instead cry most mornings at the prospect of my lonely and demotivating day ahead.

Any suggestions?

Anyway, thanks for the inspiration. Will try to create a work environment just as you do!

Sorry to hear about your current situation. Putting it in perspective…it is just one of those life challenges meant to make you stronger.

Are you saying the social aspect of the work environment isn’t for you or is the work not for you?

I ask this because if you enjoy the work, are getting paid well and no one is harrassing you, it may be worth it to stay–after all, you are there for a paycheck and to hopefully do work that fulfills you.

You may want to give it more time to see if the group’s conversations change. However, if they are just not the kind of people you want to hang out with or the conversations don’t change, befriend someone in another group. For me, all of my work friends are in groups other than mine. They were just people that I met while walking down the halls.

Your personal life is none of their business. If you are asked personal questions, have vague answers that you have already prepared to respond with. I am sure the same questions are being asked over and over. Hopefully from your vague answers they will get the hint that you do not want to discuss your personal life. If they keep pressing, you can let them know that you would prefer to keep your personal life separate from your work life (say this in your own words). If that is not respected, find other people to eat with.

You are not obligated to eat with your co-workers for even one day. If they are professional, they should understand that. Kindly let them know that you have made other plans for lunch and go about your day. Really, you choosing to eat by yourself shouldn’t been seen as anything more than you want to do something different. However, if it affects any part of your work, including promotions, then maybe that is not the place to be.

As far as staying there, I would take it day by day. If you have one or two co-workers that have become friends that you can confide in, that is great!!. Go off and have lunch with them.

I don’t see any reason why you couldn’t maintain a good cordial working relationship without disclosing your personal situation. Just don’t do it. It is none of their business if you don’t want it to be.

These are just my opinions.
Hope this helps.
Let me know how it goes.
Good luck.

I am in a work environment that isn’t exactly negative nor toxic, but just isn’t for me.

I know you mentioned the part about cultivating friendships with co-workers, i find that to be so true.

But what if you, like me, happens to be a sore thumb at work, in an environment where EVERYONE is either married and/or a parent, and you are the only one with no kids?

What if, you are under obligation to join them for lunch every single day of the week, only to hear these smug married parents actually literally COMPARING their kids….I actualyl encountered one colleague A teasing another colleague B that at least he isn’t selfish cos he has two kids, unlike B, who only stopped at one?

What if, you, like me, are in a social subculture at work, when you are the only one who’s single without kids, and EVEN single parents fit in better than you do, simply because they have children to talk about?

What if, you, like me, are the only single in the company who’s still living with parents and having a shitty time, that you don’t feel comfortable disclosing at work?

What if, you, like me, is having a highly complex long distance relatioonship with a man who is not your conventional husband material, and SERIOUSLY DO NOT WISH TO DISCLOSE THIS to any of your colleagues as a group (except one or two whom you can confide in?

What if, you, like me, has to keep changing subject, everytime questions about my personal life is asked?

I wonder how this will affect my promotion prospects, because other than the “uncomofrtable” social work environment, I believe i have the potential to be very good at this job. Also, by keeping my personal life separate from professional, i am not breachign Employee handboook rules.

BBut it’s just that, there’s this unofficial social subculture to conform to, which I am not very comfortable (yet).

So, do you think I can survive for at least a year, without disclosing much about my complex personal situatiion, but yet, maintain a cordial and good working relationship?

Or should I look for another job, while it’s soon enough. i’ve only been in the company for 3 weeks.

cheers