It seems that happiness is sometimes perceived to be ‘one size fits all’ & that often it relates to possessions – I’m happy to see the sunrise every day as I walk along the beach. Now, what does that make you think off? I bet you’ve created a subjective mental picture of my lifestyle – a perception based on the sort of lifestyle makes, or would make, you happy.

And for what purpose do we need to be happy all the time? There are so many other emotions that we can experience -yes, some of them are unpleasant, but they are a fact of life and to deny them is denying the richness of life.

Great post for debate Donald

I have found this article quite thought-inspiring. I think it also applies to relationships – if we, say, read about a “happily ever after” romantic novel with impossibly high standards of compatibility, we may never feel truly happy in a relationship that is realistically quite good. We can often become trapped without really experiencing it – we can become trapped by just believing there should be more to it.

To avoid this kind of dissatisfaction, education could perhaps prove most helpful. Setting realistic goals should be of importance here. Always comparing ourselves and others to impossible standards is merely setting us up for failure.

Great post, very rich and inspiring.

Cheers,
Gayathri Moosad

Roman,
You’re welcome. I myself realize it only recently after reading Stumbling on Happiness.

Jim,

Would you, if you had another chance, forego the internet? How about if and when you have your first child, are you going to run away from that too?

Of course not. The statement applies only to things that are harmful in the long term. That’s the context of the trap I’m talking about. One example is smoking. You know that it’s harmful in the long term, so you should avoid it. Some people, despite knowing that smoking is harmful in the long-term, still try it and eventually become addicted.

Sibyl,
The book says that your experience automatically changes your perception of happiness, often without you being aware of it. But that’s an interesting point you bring up.

Abubakar,
Thanks!

Jehangir,
Is it? I haven’t watched the video. Looks like I should watch it :)

Susan,
Yes, contentment is essential for happiness.

Dawn,

If an individual knows what his underlying values are, it will allow him to focus on what’s important to him in the long run.

I agree with you.

Daiva,
Thanks :)

Percival,
Interesting point. I agree that we can think otherwise, but it seeems that an experience with big short-term incentive will make it very difficult for most people to do that.

If some experiences change our view of happiness, it is because we come to accept that that is our new standard of happiness. We THINK that is how we should be happy. But we can think otherwise. It is our choice.

People should train themselves in the mastery of thought and in the practice of self-denial. If we accept the view that some experiences would change our view of happiness, then we relinquish control of our happiness to external circumstances.

Habits are difficult to change because they are ingrained in our nervous system. The condition of the body has a part in this difficulty. For an ordinary person, this is a herculean job. But one who has complete self-mastery will see this as no obstacle.

I love to go to the riding stables and visit with the horses in the pasture. They are so content to simply be outside, frolick with one another, taking an occasional role in the sand and resting peacefully as needed. It’s mesmerizing and easily reminds me that all I need to do is simply “be” to ENJOY this amazing experience of life.

A nice article, which made me smile, since I posted a blog yesterday which includes a TED video of Dan Gilbert!

Although the video was made in 2004, 3 years before Stumbling on Happiness was published, there are aspects of it that complement your post and mentions some additional dangers… ;-)