Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.
Leo Tolstoy
There are many ways for people to be unhappy, but happy people have common characteristics. That’s why a good way to be happy is to learn the common characteristics of happy people and apply them.
So I studied what the great minds in history say about being happy. I went through hundreds of quotes on being happy and extracted the best lessons out of them. Not only are these lessons useful, they are also timeless in nature.
Here I’d like to share what I learned with you. Without further ado, here are 17 timeless secrets of happy people:
1. Forget the past
One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
Rita Mae Brown
You won’t be happy if you carry the burden of the past. Did you make mistakes? Did you have terrible experiences? Whatever they are, you should let them go. There’s nothing you can do about the past, so you’d better let them go and focus your energy on the present.
2. Take responsibility for your life
The secret of Happiness is Freedom, and the secret of Freedom, Courage.
Thucydides
To be happy you should have freedom and the most essential freedom is the freedom to choose. No matter how bad a situation is, you can always choose how you respond to it. People can annoy you, but it’s up to you whether or not you will resent.
But, as the quote above says, freedom takes courage. Freedom to choose requires the courage to take responsibility for your life. You shouldn’t blame someone else when something goes wrong. Take the responsibility and you have the power to choose.
3. Build relationships
Life’s truest happiness is found in friendships we make along the way.
Unknown
Relationships is where we can get true happiness in life. The reason is simple: only through relationships can we love and be loved. Make relationships your top priority and you are on your way to true happiness.
4. Develop multiple passions
The more passions and desires one has, the more ways one has of being happy.
Charlotte-Catherine
Passions lead you to happiness. So not only should you discover your multiple passions, you should also expand yourself to new passions. This way you will create new ways to happiness.
The key to expanding to new passions is curiosity. If you are curious, you will have an endless stream of exciting things waiting for you.
5. Build your character
Character is the basis of happiness and happiness the sanction of character.
George Santayana
Building your character is essential for happiness. When you are true to yourself and others, you will be in peace.
The way to start building character is by making promises and keeping them. For example, you make promise to yourself that you won’t smoke. When you keep it, you are building your character. Or you make promise to others to be punctual. When you keep it, you build your character.
6. Be who you are
The summit of happiness is reached when a person is ready to be what he is.
Desiderius Erasmus
You can only be happy if you become who you are. Don’t live other people’s life by trying to meet their expectations. People may expect you to have certain job or certain way of living but don’t be intimidated by them. Find who you are and be yourself.
7. Live your life purpose
The only true happiness comes from squandering ourselves for a purpose.
William Cowper
To have a fulfilling life, you should find your life purpose and follow it faithfully. Find what matters to you and build the courage to follow it. Having a one-liner will help you internalize and communicate your mission.
8. Count your blessings
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
Unknown
Being happy is easy if we are grateful. Unfortunately, seeing what we don’t have is often easier than seeing what we have. Sometimes we need to experience loss before appreciating what we have. So don’t take things for granted. Look at what you have and soon you will have plenty of reasons to be happy. You may start with these simple things.
9. Have positive mind
It is not the place, nor the condition, but the mind alone that can make anyone happy or miserable.
Roger L’Estrange
Happy people know how to control their mind. They don’t let negative thoughts come in. While a situation may seem bad to others, happy people look at them in a positive way. They always believe that no matter how bad a situation seems, there is always something positive to take from it. Your mind can make or break you, so guard it well.
10. Work creatively
Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.
Franklin D. Roosevelt
When you work creatively on something you will find happiness. There is a well-known phenomenon regarding this called flow. When you are in the state of flow, you are fully focused on the task at hand that you no longer realize the passage of time. This state of flow allows you to achieve high productivity and being happy at the same time. Here are some tips to achieve it.
11. Start with what you have
The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.
James Oppenheim
Happy people don’t need something they don’t have to be happy. They don’t need certain job or certain level of income. Instead, they learn to be happy with what they already have. They have learned the art of contentment. Be content with what you have and you will be happy.
12. Change
They must often change who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.
Confucius
Being happy requires you to constantly grow. In fact, the process of learning itself is essential for happiness. Have you ever felt the excitement of being enlightened about something? Have you ever felt the excitement of achieving a new level in life? Top 10 Things You Should Change in Your Life gives you some practical tips on changing your life.
13. Use your talents
True happiness involves the full use of one’s power and talents.
Douglas Pagels
There are two lessons to take from this quote. First, you should find your talents and second, you should use them to the fullest. Working in your talents is a sure way to enjoy your work because it’s something you are “hardwired” to do. Using your talents fully will make you even happier because of the satisfaction of doing your best.
14. Beware of small things
The happiness of most people we know is not ruined by great catastrophes or fatal errors, but by the repetition of slowly destructive little things.
Ernest Dimnet
This is very true. Often it’s not big things that ruin your happiness. It’s the small things that do. Perhaps you don’t like someone or break some “small” promises. But even small leaks can sink your ship of happiness, so beware of them.
15. Distill your ambitions
Where ambition ends happiness begins.
Author Unknown
While wanting to achieve more in your life is good, being obsessed by it is not. Do your best to improve yourself but don’t be obsessed by it.
16. Make others happy
Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
This is my favorite secret of happiness. The way to being happy is to make others happy first. The more you help other people and make them happy, the more you will be happy. Happiness doesn’t come through selfishness but through selflessness. You reap what you sow.
17. Practice compassion
If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.
The Dalai Lama
Compassion is perhaps the highest level of selflessness we could have. As this quote aptly says, practicing compassion can make both others and you happy.
But of course, it requires practice. Start with thinking about the people around you. Look at their needs and find ways to meet them. Even if you don’t do it out of compassion in the beginning, your compassion will grow over time.
***
All in all, this quote by Aristotle can summarize the lessons above:
Happiness depends upon ourselves.
It’s you who decide whether or not you are happy in life.
I choose to be happy. What about you?
See also: Being Happy: How Not to Love Stuff
If you liked this article, please share it on StumbleUpon. I’d appreciate it.
This article is part of July 2008 theme: Happiness
Photo by Bassi Baba, dengski
i needed this badly…i will try to put these secrets into my life…thnxxx a ton…
I personally think the secret is just for you to CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY :)
This makes a huge amount of sense!! ….only you can make yourself truely happy by responding and reacting in the right way to the situations you face on a daily, weekly, monthly basis.
Great article and one which everybody can put to good use and use as a good reference point when feeling slightly negative!
Only you are in control of your mind …from adversity comes strength, wisdom, confidence and positivity.
Alex
While people can choose to make the most of it, don’t forget that external factors can turn a person’s world upside down.
Yes, there is a thing called choice. And then there’s a thing called fate. Fate would have it that your wife starts cheating on you. Fate would have it that your company downsizes and you are one of hundreds applying for the same jobs in town. Fate would have it that you were raised in a trailer park, and don’t really know how to “take charge” of all those professional bits the rest of your brothers take for granted.
Sometimes you get kicked early on in life. Maybe you tried to make all the right choices, follow the rules, get perfect grades, pull off a class-A smile. But fate divorced your family, gave you an alcoholic step-dad, 3 step-siblings, and you get to live with your cranky 80-year old grandma and demented father half the time too!
After a while, there’s no foolin’ no one. You can be happy out in the woods, or at work (if you are blessed with a job), or you can end up experiencing hell.
“Hell is other people” -Jean-Paul Sartre
Deep down everyone needs external recognition. Some folks get it and have a great life. Some folks never did, and they usually need to join the army. If only we all see how much love could heal. If only we could really just be there for one another. But sometimes fate would have it otherwise.
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Wow this was very much needed. Great info!
I BELIEVE THAT WHEN U WANT TO LIVE HAPPILY,YOU HAVE TO FORGET ABOUT WHAT THE NEXT PERSON IS SAYING ABOUT YOU.NO MATTER HOW PERFECT YOU MAY BE,PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS SEE SOMETHING BAD OR NEGATIVE ABOUT U THEN FORGET ABOUT THEM.MOVE ON WITH UR LIFE,TRY 2 B SURROUNDED BY POSITIVE PEOPLE MOST OF DA TIME AND LIVE A HOLY LIFE.FORGET ABOUT WORLD THINGS COZ THEY WONT THEY WONT GIVE U ETERNAL LIFE.LIVE BY DA WORD OF GOD AND MEDITATE BY IT EVERYWHERE U GO THEN U’LL SEE
Thank you so much for your post! All of it is exactly what I needed to hear and very helpful!
I agree with some of your points, but relationships, for example, are inconstant, both internally (that is, their quality varies) and because they cannot be guaranteed to last. Even in the best relationships, it is very common for a person to have the fleeting thought, “what if they leave me?” It is better to be happy within oneself – then, relationships are like the cherry on top. :)
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Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
I think you misunderstood this one. In my opinion, this means that you cannot share happiness unless you are happy with yourself. I opposed the thing you said that people should make others happy first. All should start from within, meaning it should start from you.
I agree with you about trying to make other people happy first, even trying to “make” them happy at all. Some people have no intentions of ever being happy and it is a complete waste of our time and energy to try to “make” them be happy.
Maybe what he meant was “serve” others. You just do little favors for people, notice “oh she look’s like she could use a hand getting that in her car.”
Even just saying hello to a stranger or telling a friend how you appreciate them, “Thanks Matt, I needed some encouragement!” or hiding an “I love you note” for someone you car about to find.
You just create a positive vibe. It comes back to you real fast ;)
Yes, i think this is a better way of implementing this quote.. This perfume of happiness will be noticed by others, and you will be asked … You smell so good can you pour some of your “happiness” on me. That “happiness” perfume that we decide to wear will transmit to others – and others might just simply not like it… They are just not ready to be happy – its bitterness that’s rooted in their lives..
This means charity. Plain and simple. Helping the ones in need.
Hi I read the steps to be happy and I find them usefull, I will apply them to my life and start being happy by having a possitive mind and help others to bring joy to my life. Thanks ^_^
The quest for finding happiness seems neverending. This is a great article. It seems like looking for happiness in the external is such a losing battle. It is so fleeting, even if you find it outside of yourself. I am always looking for ways to get the most out of life, which I write about on my site, but none of it matters if you don’t discover happiness as a state of being.
helo…
waoo wonderful blog…
thanx donald for this…thats great article of happiness
i will share this article to my friendz and i will translate this in urdu(pakistan’s national language) and send to publish it to a magazine for people…
May God Almighty give u happiness and blessings on u
Happiness is about :
- following ones dreams
- having a choice
- life being full of experiences but not regrets
- helping others but not expecting anything in return
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thanks since everybody in one way or another looks for happiness in life.
What a wonderful website – well done Donald. Your content superb.
[...] Secrets of Happy People [...]
I was looking to be happier than my present state, and i guess my search ends here at your great research. Thanx for a great article. I hope it will help
I really enjoyed it. Thank u so much
Thanks..
U r great..
God bless u..
n i wish god fulfil all ur wish..
Its an art, which is built-in, initially, when we born, each and every person needs to find it in our seif.. Be happy, life is beautiful :)
… thank you for this post.
Here’s another way to be happy
First hold you’re breath for a minute(make sure it’s a full minute) then stop holding you’tr breath, you will be so happy to have air to breath none of you’re problems will even matter anymore.
I think is really important to apply all of this principles to make it happen, for me, even that I strive to it, sometimes I got down by things I can’t control, giving room to frustration, there lies my challenge, so, one got to be focus, fight out own demon’s, in order to overcome this state of mind. Ambivalence of thoughts can antagonized this steps, to, meditation, and faith will help us to get to where we want to be, but even as I fight it day by day, the decision is ours to make, so, life is very short, lets learn this simple lessons early on, tomorrow is to far, lets do it today, believe me, I fight with myself, especially in my darkest hours, but even that I don’t have any problems, human nature sometimes can’t be satisfied, so, in order to defeat this mind set, practice to be more humble, and as easy as being happy for what we got, and not miserable for what we don’t, that will help, as a starter. I might add, GOD, please grant me the serenity to accept the things I can’t change, courage to change the ones I can, and wisdom to know the difference!
Thanks a lot .It was great I’ll follow this rules
What a great site… I found this extremly helpful….sometimes the most obvious things in life we cant see!!
Thank You
thanks you so much
what a nice and great words !
its fabulous !
i’ll present it in the class at my school :D
I am desperately trying to work on being happy but life’s problems just keep on getting on top of me. Also, I am being paranoid or do some people not want me to be happy and try to suppress my attempts. Arhhhhh!!!
[...] Being Happy: 17 Timeless Secrets of Happy People [...]
Good site!
I have to add, that happiness is in my opinion is collecting confidence. Confidence is a positive emotional energy. And the only way to fuel up on confidence is to name your fears, face your fears and act on your fears. I read a great book and I recommend it ‘feel the fear and act anyway’. As an example to the above, say, you have the fear that you cannot speak in front of people. Lets say on a scale from 1 to 10 this fear has the strength of 6. Now. If you act on this, in the face of your fear, by say, speaking in front of a smaller audience, you will actually harvest 6 points of confidence. Try it. You will actually ‘feel’ it instantly as you act on your fear! Great thing: it does not matter what the outcome is! You will have harvested your confidence points anyway and it is going to elevate you :)
Thank you for writing this article about taking responsibility for our own happiness or lack thereof!
thank for your great article i try to be happy
and make others too
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I personally believe that you have to focus on the present if you want to be happy. Just focus on the now, not the past. I fully agree with your point on developing multiple passions. Every one has their own hobby or w/e that makes them happy.
Thanks for sharing!
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I love this! This is great. I will definitely use this as a link in the future on my website/personal blog. Check it out if you have the time!
While we do “choose” to be happy, as one comment said, there is much more to being happy than simply making a choice to be happy. It depends on a lot of things. Telling someone they should just “choose” to be happy is like telling someone who is paralyzed that they should just choose to run…It doesn’t work like that.
This is so wonderful and it makes so much sense. I try to
Do most of these things but I’m having trouble forgetting the past? How can I do this? I’ve tried and negative thoughts always seem to come back!
Alisha,
You might want to check out the book The Journey by Brandon Bays… it’s the best most consistent way I’ve seen to let go of the past permanently.
All the best to you!
I know its been a while from this last post. I think this is a wonderfull website, I just found it and I have found it very helpfull. In my opinion forgetting the past is not the solution and not the way to find happiness. We need memories because they teach us and guide us to make better decisions in life. Every person has one purpose in life and this is TO BE HAPPY. But, not all of us can find happiness in the same way. Dont be sorry of anything that have happened or any “wrong” decision that you have taken in the past, those teach you to be brave and I´m sure will help us to be more aware of the present and future…
Just want to say that this page has helped me massively in recovering from depresion. I’m learning that it’s not just ‘OK’ to make myself happy, but it is ‘Essential’. If I am not happy I am unable to enjoy life, face challenges, love other people or appreciate what I have.
These tips have really helped me do that and I’m very grateful. Many Thanks!
What a great list!
It isn’t as easy being happy as it sounds is it? One of the hardest things is figuring out exactly what would make your happy rather than the things you ‘think’ will make you happy.
Once you have done that you can start to create a plan about how you are going to get those things.
It’s hard work but very rewarding.
just what i needed. im researching for nice inspirational books and advice from people, this seemed very nice.
yesterday this just came into my mind:
“Dont expect anything from others, expect only from yourself..”
theres still a long way for me to go, though.
the monk that sold his ferrari
the power of your subconscious mind
Nice analysis. I think”controlling” ur thoughts/emotions also go along way in achieving all the secrets that you have listed down.
It took me a lot of years to realize that happiness does not come in a box, or through other people. Understandibly, most people in this world are increasingly concerned about themselves and the sooner we recognize this, the sooner we stop letting others hurt us. Take care of you and yours and you will be happy. I was a giver, but always seemed to get taken for more. I am over that, and I am happier by focusing on my family and myself. It sounds a bit sour, but I am not bitter at all. I just chose to focus on those who really count and stopped trying to impress, or make everyone else happy just to keep friends.
avoid 3 enemies of personal peace…
regret over yesterdays mistake
inattention of todays blessing
and tomorrows anxiety
thank you,greatly appreciated x
I’m HAPPY, HAPPY :)
…never give up if you know you have rights! also if you have many risk factors!!
One more point which is in my experience very important: TRUST!!! In life, in the people around you, in yourself and in the goodness and meaningfulness of existence.
GREAT article!!!!! I’m very happy to have found it since my ship of happiness had sunk quite a while ago and I desperately needed to kick my ass and pull myself together again. This article is a great help.
Thank you and many greetings,
Searos
thnx varun for sndn me dis link..lovly!!!! i realy needed it :)…
evry1 knws how to b happy bt v forget it at d tym whn v need d most…dis blog hlps us to recall dm bck…. KKEP SMILING evry1
I had been down for afew years and I was searching for happiness, and then one day it came to me HAPPINESS is a choice, and I choose to be HAPPY, so now if things get bad I think HAPPINESS is a choice and I work round it. I really loved reading the quotes above.
I love this site. When you feel happy people notice good people. Then good things happen then positive things happen. Meaning being kind, compassionate and giving. The assertive peace we all need through the day.