Comments on: Learn to Say No And Reserve Your Mental Energy http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2008/06/09/learn-to-say-no-and-reserve-your-mental-energy/ How to Live Life to the Fullest - Personal Growth and Effectiveness Thu, 18 Mar 2010 14:02:08 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc hourly 1 By: 24 Productivity Tips From the Best Productivity Blogs http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2008/06/09/learn-to-say-no-and-reserve-your-mental-energy/comment-page-1/#comment-158020 24 Productivity Tips From the Best Productivity Blogs Fri, 18 Sep 2009 08:59:46 +0000 http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2008/06/09/learn-to-say-no-and-reserve-your-mental-energy/#comment-158020 [...] 19. Learn to say “no”. “Not getting the wrong things done is just as important as getting the right things done. Of course, it’s up to you to classify something as the right or the wrong thing to do. But once you decide that something is wrong to do, you should not get it done and not even work on it in the first place. That ensures that you have the time and energy to get the right things done and done right. Reserve your mental energy and don’t waste your resources on something that will give you nothing in the end. Of course, it doesn’t mean that you should be selfish and not help others. What I mean is you shouldn’t help others in a way that will harm yourself.” — Donald Latumahina, Life Optimizer [...] [...] 19. Learn to say “no”. “Not getting the wrong things done is just as important as getting the right things done. Of course, it’s up to you to classify something as the right or the wrong thing to do. But once you decide that something is wrong to do, you should not get it done and not even work on it in the first place. That ensures that you have the time and energy to get the right things done and done right. Reserve your mental energy and don’t waste your resources on something that will give you nothing in the end. Of course, it doesn’t mean that you should be selfish and not help others. What I mean is you shouldn’t help others in a way that will harm yourself.” — Donald Latumahina, Life Optimizer [...]

]]> By: Donald Latumahina http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2008/06/09/learn-to-say-no-and-reserve-your-mental-energy/comment-page-1/#comment-76988 Donald Latumahina Thu, 19 Jun 2008 06:48:24 +0000 http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2008/06/09/learn-to-say-no-and-reserve-your-mental-energy/#comment-76988 Ruth, Learning to say no is indeed an important lesson. The book you mentioned sounds interesting by the way. Ruth,
Learning to say no is indeed an important lesson. The book you mentioned sounds interesting by the way.

]]> By: Ruth http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2008/06/09/learn-to-say-no-and-reserve-your-mental-energy/comment-page-1/#comment-76707 Ruth Wed, 18 Jun 2008 04:28:07 +0000 http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2008/06/09/learn-to-say-no-and-reserve-your-mental-energy/#comment-76707 Okay, someone's trying to tell me something here! This is the second post today I've read on learning how to say no. The first one was at Shelley Anderson's blog. I'd been reading her book Dealing with Divas on how to deal with a pushy boss, and decided to check out her site as well. I always have a hard time saying no, and most of the time I end up being upset with the person I say yes to no matter who it is, as well as myself for not being able so stand my ground in the first place. Okay, someone’s trying to tell me something here! This is the second post today I’ve read on learning how to say no. The first one was at Shelley Anderson’s blog. I’d been reading her book Dealing with Divas on how to deal with a pushy boss, and decided to check out her site as well. I always have a hard time saying no, and most of the time I end up being upset with the person I say yes to no matter who it is, as well as myself for not being able so stand my ground in the first place.

]]> By: Donald Latumahina http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2008/06/09/learn-to-say-no-and-reserve-your-mental-energy/comment-page-1/#comment-75892 Donald Latumahina Sat, 14 Jun 2008 07:36:31 +0000 http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2008/06/09/learn-to-say-no-and-reserve-your-mental-energy/#comment-75892 Avani, Those are very good ideas! They indirectly inform the boss that the way she does things has negative consequences she should be responsible for. Avani,
Those are very good ideas! They indirectly inform the boss that the way she does things has negative consequences she should be responsible for.

]]> By: Avani Mehta http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2008/06/09/learn-to-say-no-and-reserve-your-mental-energy/comment-page-1/#comment-75672 Avani Mehta Thu, 12 Jun 2008 20:09:13 +0000 http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2008/06/09/learn-to-say-no-and-reserve-your-mental-energy/#comment-75672 @Martin I empathize with you. Such bosses/managers are difficult to work with. Some techniques which work while dealing with bosses and managers who do not accept a "no" 1. Inform them before picking up whatever new task they are assigning what task is going to be affected and how. 2. Pass the ball in their court - Ask them to prioritize tasks since both cannot be done at the same time. Make them take a decision. 3. Keep a time log of your daily tasks. This comes really handy when after attending weeks of meetings managers ask us what did we do all the time. I am sure there must be more methods of managing people than these. @Martin

I empathize with you. Such bosses/managers are difficult to work with.

Some techniques which work while dealing with bosses and managers who do not accept a “no”
1. Inform them before picking up whatever new task they are assigning what task is going to be affected and how.
2. Pass the ball in their court – Ask them to prioritize tasks since both cannot be done at the same time. Make them take a decision.
3. Keep a time log of your daily tasks. This comes really handy when after attending weeks of meetings managers ask us what did we do all the time.

I am sure there must be more methods of managing people than these.

]]> By: Donald Latumahina http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2008/06/09/learn-to-say-no-and-reserve-your-mental-energy/comment-page-1/#comment-75433 Donald Latumahina Wed, 11 Jun 2008 10:01:33 +0000 http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2008/06/09/learn-to-say-no-and-reserve-your-mental-energy/#comment-75433 Arjun, <blockquote>Usually I don’t have trouble saying ‘no’, but rather deciding where I personally want to say yes. </blockquote> I think this is where our life purpose is important. Our life purpose can help us decide whether or not something is relevant for us. This way we won't waste our resources on things that are actually not for us. Of course, finding the purpose takes time but it's time well spent. Justin, Overpromising and underdelivering is a problem I experienced myself. I was so eager to try many things I didn't realize that I couldn't handle them all. I've been more careful since then. Ramesh, This is also something I'm learning. The desire to help people is good, but underdelivering because of our limited capacity may be harmful to our relationships (as Justin said). Martin, Yes, it's not easy to say no in such cases. My work gives me the freedom to accept or deny most requests, but many people have different circumstances. Setting the expectations right is perhaps the best thing we can do. Elle, Thanks for the information! Arjun,

Usually I don’t have trouble saying ‘no’, but rather deciding where I personally want to say yes.

I think this is where our life purpose is important. Our life purpose can help us decide whether or not something is relevant for us. This way we won’t waste our resources on things that are actually not for us. Of course, finding the purpose takes time but it’s time well spent.

Justin,
Overpromising and underdelivering is a problem I experienced myself. I was so eager to try many things I didn’t realize that I couldn’t handle them all. I’ve been more careful since then.

Ramesh,
This is also something I’m learning. The desire to help people is good, but underdelivering because of our limited capacity may be harmful to our relationships (as Justin said).

Martin,
Yes, it’s not easy to say no in such cases. My work gives me the freedom to accept or deny most requests, but many people have different circumstances. Setting the expectations right is perhaps the best thing we can do.

Elle,
Thanks for the information!

]]> By: Elle http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2008/06/09/learn-to-say-no-and-reserve-your-mental-energy/comment-page-1/#comment-75353 Elle Tue, 10 Jun 2008 19:40:27 +0000 http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2008/06/09/learn-to-say-no-and-reserve-your-mental-energy/#comment-75353 This is such a hard one! I've summarized the saying "No" process on my <em>Learning How to Say No</em> post: http://www.definingsomeday.com/?p=47 This is such a hard one!

I’ve summarized the saying “No” process on my Learning How to Say No post:
http://www.definingsomeday.com/?p=47

]]> By: Martin Wildam http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2008/06/09/learn-to-say-no-and-reserve-your-mental-energy/comment-page-1/#comment-75276 Martin Wildam Tue, 10 Jun 2008 11:58:52 +0000 http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2008/06/09/learn-to-say-no-and-reserve-your-mental-energy/#comment-75276 Not sure if I read about learning to say no also at your site but internet is full of such articles: http://www.google.com/search?q=%22learn+to+say+no%22 This should not mean that your article is not worth being read - I also often have to get reminded that saying "no" is an important option. However I tried that in the past with bad effects. You can imagine that for an average employee there are a few levels of management above him where no one accepts a "no". I completely agree with your point 1 and I try to do better explanation why and how to say "no". However, you cannot really change other people's (maybe bosses and managers in most cases) impatience. Not sure if I read about learning to say no also at your site but internet is full of such articles: http://www.google.com/search?q=%22learn+to+say+no%22

This should not mean that your article is not worth being read – I also often have to get reminded that saying “no” is an important option.

However I tried that in the past with bad effects. You can imagine that for an average employee there are a few levels of management above him where no one accepts a “no”.

I completely agree with your point 1 and I try to do better explanation why and how to say “no”. However, you cannot really change other people’s (maybe bosses and managers in most cases) impatience.

]]> By: Ramesh | The Geek Stuff http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2008/06/09/learn-to-say-no-and-reserve-your-mental-energy/comment-page-1/#comment-75193 Ramesh | The Geek Stuff Tue, 10 Jun 2008 05:54:45 +0000 http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2008/06/09/learn-to-say-no-and-reserve-your-mental-energy/#comment-75193 Donald, "learn to say no without feeling guilty" -- This is something I should definitely work-on. The moment when people come to me for help (whether it is something I should be doing or not), I feel compelled to help and I have trouble saying 'no'. Very good post. - Ramesh | The Geek Stuff - Donald,

“learn to say no without feeling guilty” — This is something I should definitely work-on. The moment when people come to me for help (whether it is something I should be doing or not), I feel compelled to help and I have trouble saying ‘no’.

Very good post.

- Ramesh | The Geek Stuff -

]]> By: Justin @ Palmer Web Marketing http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2008/06/09/learn-to-say-no-and-reserve-your-mental-energy/comment-page-1/#comment-75145 Justin @ Palmer Web Marketing Tue, 10 Jun 2008 00:27:29 +0000 http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2008/06/09/learn-to-say-no-and-reserve-your-mental-energy/#comment-75145 Great tips Donald, thanks for answering my question. In retrospect, I suppose I harm the relationship even worse if I promise to do something I really cannot reasonably do. Then I've overpromised and underdelivered. Great tips Donald, thanks for answering my question.

In retrospect, I suppose I harm the relationship even worse if I promise to do something I really cannot reasonably do. Then I’ve overpromised and underdelivered.

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