Many people think more about their own interest, and the role of this post is to get the balance back by asking us to also think about others’ interest. But we can go to the other extreme in which we think about others’ interest at the expense of ours, just as you described. The key is keeping the balance between both of them.

Yet, after reading this, I was left with a feeling I could not shake. I have, for several times in my life in fact, applied these strategies to other people. Being interested in their life, giving them a call to see how they were doing, etc.

Then after a while I realized the relationship was all about what I could give to them this way. That became apparent when I had to have major surgery, I told someone who I really considered to be a close friend, and he wrote me: “Oh that will pass in no time. Meanwhile listen to this, I have this and this problem.”

I never responded to that mail, and what I considered to be a long lasting friendship just stopped after that. He never contacted me again…

So what I mean to say is this: be a giver, but don’t forget yourself in the process.